Poem - Emptiness

This poem documents the start of my true Christian journey - not as a child who knew of God, but as an adult, after having been away from God and just returning to church, and feeling, for the first time, a touch of the Holy Spirit, stirring something within me. The confusion but amazing lightness I felt was difficult to capture in words but I tried.

Emptiness

I used to feel lonely; alone in the dark

I used to long for loving arms to envelop me in unparalleled warmth.

I used to sit for hours, covered in salty droplets from my glistening eyes

I could never have guessed what the emptiness was;
Where the hole inside my body had stemmed from.

One evening the tears flowed, betraying me
And the smile I relied on for so long to conceal myself.

These tears were different; wetter somehow,

Almost lighter and more refreshing.

 I sat in confusion, not knowing why they had appeared this time.

My nemesis; these tiny drops of water coming from within myself

Coming from a place that my smile couldn’t fool

Coming from, dare I say it, God Almighty?

But why would He be interested in me?

Why would He force these tears, these somewhat kinder tears,
Out of my young eyes?

Why, when I thought of Him was I somehow happier, more satiated?

Could He be what was missing from my life?

Could He really be the deep, intense yearning I feel within my chest and my stomach?

Is He reaching out His hand, asking me, His wayward daughter,

To take it and return home; another chance?

I already knew God. I knew Jesus; a great man – the son of God.

But He wanted me to know Him more.

He wanted me to truly know Him;
An intimate relationship with the One who created me

My Gepetto, my Father.

Only when I could understand, could gather my tiny little mind around Him wanting me as much as I needed Him, did I accept Him fully.

I could feel the tears draining from my body; could feel my soul expanding
My heart mending.

The void inside me filling.

Jesus Christ came into my life and now

I’m never alone.

Copyright - Lisa Davies, October 11^th, 2010.

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