I reached out to several people I know and trust, and have spent time studying any responses I received, particularly those which gave me direction in terms of seeking God's wisdom in prayer and offered scriptural context and further reading.
I am still very much in a period of waiting, and I'm trying to value this time as a blessing. Tarrying is certainly a biblical principle, with 63 appearances of the word in the bible. The most well-known is probably from LUKE 24:49, where the disciples are given instructions to, "tarry in the city of Jerusalem until you are endued with power from on high". Indeed, I am tarrying in this place of being still and seeking until I too am endued with the Holy Spirit's leading.
After seeking counsel from my own Pastor, as I thought was the right thing to do, I reached out farther afield, speaking with pastors from other churches I am familiar with, and other trusted individuals the Lord has been gracious enough to bejewel my life with. I have received many words of advice and suggestions to pray and trust the Lord above myself.
One scripture I have been given is from PROVERBS 3, verse 6 reads, "In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" which reminded of a time a few years ago where I spent my days in constant communion and conversation with God. I would just chat throughout the day about anything and nothing, thanking the Lord for the small blessings and mercies I came across and just generally walking with the Holy Spirit as my companion. I'm not sure when or why that stopped but I miss it and I want to get it back and rekindle that old friendship.
I then reached out to my childhood minister, a truly wonderful man who I feel I could trust and learn from on any topic I come across. His advice was sound and very welcome, and he signposted me to a course, The Prayer Course, which he suggested might be a valuable tool for me at this stage in my walk. Of course, due to my very nature as a lifelong-learner and wisdom-seeker, I jumped at the opportunity to "deep dive" into a study of prayer and God-seeking. He encouraged me to follow the course through and resist the temptation to skip to the sessions which focused on my more pressing concerns. I have to admit that in my impatience, had I not been specifically discouraged, I probably would have done just that!
So, The Prayer Course. That's what I'm going to be doing for the next few weeks. There are eight sessions, focusing on areas such as, "Why Pray?", "Intercession", and "Spiritual Warfare", including others. It looks like it draws inspiration from the Lord's Prayer as a model for praying.
Having started the first session (link here), it reminded me somewhat of the Alpha course I participated in many years ago and thoroughly enjoyed (until that fateful last night, which we won't revisit right now!) I'm keen to dig in and just power through it but I'm making an effort to take my time and really absorb the content as well as consider my own thoughts and ideas. I'm going to be doing the course alone, so it will be a shame to not have anyone to bounce my ideas off, or to hold myself accountable to. I'm going to have to be strict with myself, and I'll utilise this blog as a medium to share my progress and receive any assistance or course-companionship.
It may take me longer than the scheduled 8 sessions to get through it; as you can see below, I don't get very much "me-time" but I'm certainly going to try to find some!
Have you completed The Prayer Course or anything similar? I'd love to hear your thoughts!
