On Saturday night I attended "Exalt: No Other Agenda" - a worship evening hosted by a local church. It was great; I've said for a long time that I think I would really enjoy and benefit from a worship-only meeting - and I did! It's important to devote time to simply praising and worshipping our God!
I spoke to a lady who attends my usual church but I haven't spoken to her very much. She hasn't been saved for very long and she has had horrific experiences in the past, not least the suffering she's currently enduring after a number of years attending a Spiritualist "church".
She was telling me that she feels like she's cursed; she has had trouble sleeping. I advised her that there is probably some kind of spiritual warfare going on right now; Satan was so close to winning and he thought he had her in his grasp but then she was washed clean by the Blood of Jesus and escaped his clutches. I told her that God has a plan for her life and that it terrifies Satan so he's trying everything he can think of to stop it from coming to fruition. I told her not to be afraid of Satan but to stand firm on God's Word and promises, because we already know who wins!
I could have talked to that lady for hours as I felt a connection to her; we have some similarities in our history and our testimonies,
As I was going to sleep the next evening, I felt that someone was standing behind me; a shodowy figure almost stooping over me (I'll probably draw a picture and edit this post to add it at a later date). I felt uneasy, to say the least, and my gut (spirit?) was telling me it had something to do with this lady. She was so prominantly in my thoughts in a way I don't think I've experienced before.
I felt a great need to tell her, "There's a spiritual war going on around you. Don't worry about it, just rest in the peace of God and be safe in the knowledge that He and His angels are fighting on your behalf, so you don't have to."
I wanted to tell her to feel the restful slumber that I knew was accessible to her, if only she would let go and allow herself to fall into the peace of God. To lie in His open arms and find the comfort that she so yearned for.
I know it's not a prophetic word or anything, but I've said for a long time that I have a great deal of empathy and a lot of compassion and I can't help but think that this might have been a message from God for me to give her. Unfortunately I won't see her this week as we are out of town at a friend's daughter's christening, so I will have to wait until the next time I see her and hope that it's still relevant.
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, will keep me safe - Psalm 4:8 (NLT)
For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go - Psalm 91:11 (NLT)
Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus - Philippians 4:7 (NLT)
Tuesday 20 May 2014
Sunday 11 May 2014
Poem - Holy Spirit
Holy Spirit
Holy Spirit
You are my
comforter
You are my friend
I know You.
I feel You
residing within me
A welcome
companion for my soul.
Holy Spirit
I thank You for
coming into my life
For seeing me as a
worthy vessel for You to use
For the glory of
our Living God.
Oh, Spirit, I
yearn for more of You
You have teased me
with a small infilling of Yourself
And now I need
more
Like an addict,
trembling for his next fix,
Holy Spirit, I
need You.
Fill me
Use me
Pour Yourself into
me
A never-ending
well of life and love.
Keep me
overflowing
Never let me be
without You
Never leave me
And I will never
leave You.
Holy Spirit, I ask
You to fill me so that I cannot possibly take any more
Else my soul will
burst
Fill me every day
with love and grace
From on high
And be the
interpreter for me and my Father
I need You.
Holy Spirit
I love You.
Copyright - Lisa Davies, November 8th, 2010.
If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its
entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be
given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a
courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)
Saturday 10 May 2014
Barrenness
My new husband and I have just moved into our very first home. It's great, but a little strange. I never realised all there is to do in a house: cleaning; shopping; organising... There's things we had on our "to buy" list which are pretty ordinary but then there were so many things we hadn't even thought of, because they've always "just been there" - our mums just always had them in!
We're still living around and out of suitcases and boxes - we've only been here a couple of weeks and we're slowly but surely getting sorted. One thing we've struggled with is the lack of internet access. We had to wait for our internet to be connected and while we were waiting I didn't touch my laptop at all. Not once. In fact, we even went to my mum's to use her WiFi on my phone!
I guess I figured that without the internet, there's no reason to go on it. Forgetting that I had all our wedding photos from the photographer to sort through and order for family and friends. That's all on there. As is my CV and other job application things I could have been using; all my music, documents and games.
Basically, I refused to use my laptop because it didn't have the internet; the thing I used most often and the main reason I ever powered it up. It didn't matter that it was still a useable product, it still had plenty of other uses and worth, but it didn't have the one thing I wanted at that time.
This got me thinking about my body.
Now, I've never been to the doctor; never been diagnosed; never even had any sign or symptom that something may be wrong. I just have a feeling.
I've steered clear of bringing this up on here for fear of: a) offending people who are genuinely struggling with it; and b) having serious egg on my face if it never becomes an issue and I worried for nothing!
I've been adamant for a number of years now that I will struggle to conceive a child. There are many reasons for this, many of which are too complex for me to go into on such a public forum and with limited time and space. The main reason is that I just feel it. I feel it in my heart; I feel it in my gut.
As I said, there's never been any indication that I am barren or will struggle in any way to have a child. None at all. But just like my laptop, I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to work and I'll have to find another way, just like using mum's WiFi, we have already discussed at length, the possibility of adopting.
I have noticed that there seems to be a large number of couples struggling to conceive within the church. I'm not sure whether there's a correlation or if it's just a coincidence. Perhaps it's true what they say abut a church being a hospital for the needy and desperate. I guess that I accepted that in becoming a Christian, I may have given up my ability to bear a child (silly, I know!)
I even read Bible stories about barrenness: Rachel and Jacob; Rebekah and Isaac; Sarah and Abraham; Elizabeth (eventual mother of John the Baptist). It seemed that the tables were turned in the end and they each received their miracle. This gave me hope that perhaps there was a reason I was going to be barren and eventually it would become my own miracle.
It also made me think about spiritual barrenness. Perhaps my gut feeling isn't that I will be physically barren, in that I won't be able to give my husband a child, but perhaps it could simply be due to the spiritual barrenness I feel within my aching soul. I'm not yet able to interpret God's voice, so maybe this is how it manifests itself in me - by a feeling.
I could be so yearning for a baptism in the Holy Spirit, for a Gift of the Spirit, that I am misinterpreting what I assume is a maternal hunger. I've been maternal all my life. From a very young age, even as a child, I have known that I am meant to be a mother. I truly do believe that's the reason I'm here, and we only have to watch movies to see that the people who are the most desperate for children are the ones who will struggle to have them. I know life isn't like a movie but they must have come up with the ideas somewhere!
Anyway. I do wonder, but there's no point in worrying unnecessarily. We're only just married, we're not going to be thinking about starting a family just yet. In the meantime I will trust that God knows what He is doing and whether I bear my own biological children or we choose to adopt a child, I will be a mother one day and our family will be complete. As for me and my house, we will praise the Lord!
I'm praying over my spiritual gifting, just as I'm praying to know God's plan for my life so that I can start walking in His will. I'm hopeful that the emptiness I feel within myself will right itself when I am in a better place with God. When I was first saved I had a fire bubbling up in my stomach, I was excited and I felt that I was so close to God and His will for me. I feel that I've been seperated somewhat from that place and I need to find a way to get back there. I pray that when I do climb back up to God's throne room, that missing piece will be there waiting for me. Whether it's in the form of a Spiritual Gift or just to rekindle the fire I once had.
I'm leaving you now, excited, rather than dejected!
God promised all those women that they would not be barren forever. I'm holding Him to that covenant for myself!
Keep claiming your promises!
- Lisa xx
We're still living around and out of suitcases and boxes - we've only been here a couple of weeks and we're slowly but surely getting sorted. One thing we've struggled with is the lack of internet access. We had to wait for our internet to be connected and while we were waiting I didn't touch my laptop at all. Not once. In fact, we even went to my mum's to use her WiFi on my phone!
I guess I figured that without the internet, there's no reason to go on it. Forgetting that I had all our wedding photos from the photographer to sort through and order for family and friends. That's all on there. As is my CV and other job application things I could have been using; all my music, documents and games.
Basically, I refused to use my laptop because it didn't have the internet; the thing I used most often and the main reason I ever powered it up. It didn't matter that it was still a useable product, it still had plenty of other uses and worth, but it didn't have the one thing I wanted at that time.
This got me thinking about my body.
Now, I've never been to the doctor; never been diagnosed; never even had any sign or symptom that something may be wrong. I just have a feeling.
I've steered clear of bringing this up on here for fear of: a) offending people who are genuinely struggling with it; and b) having serious egg on my face if it never becomes an issue and I worried for nothing!
I've been adamant for a number of years now that I will struggle to conceive a child. There are many reasons for this, many of which are too complex for me to go into on such a public forum and with limited time and space. The main reason is that I just feel it. I feel it in my heart; I feel it in my gut.
As I said, there's never been any indication that I am barren or will struggle in any way to have a child. None at all. But just like my laptop, I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to work and I'll have to find another way, just like using mum's WiFi, we have already discussed at length, the possibility of adopting.
I have noticed that there seems to be a large number of couples struggling to conceive within the church. I'm not sure whether there's a correlation or if it's just a coincidence. Perhaps it's true what they say abut a church being a hospital for the needy and desperate. I guess that I accepted that in becoming a Christian, I may have given up my ability to bear a child (silly, I know!)
I even read Bible stories about barrenness: Rachel and Jacob; Rebekah and Isaac; Sarah and Abraham; Elizabeth (eventual mother of John the Baptist). It seemed that the tables were turned in the end and they each received their miracle. This gave me hope that perhaps there was a reason I was going to be barren and eventually it would become my own miracle.It also made me think about spiritual barrenness. Perhaps my gut feeling isn't that I will be physically barren, in that I won't be able to give my husband a child, but perhaps it could simply be due to the spiritual barrenness I feel within my aching soul. I'm not yet able to interpret God's voice, so maybe this is how it manifests itself in me - by a feeling.
I could be so yearning for a baptism in the Holy Spirit, for a Gift of the Spirit, that I am misinterpreting what I assume is a maternal hunger. I've been maternal all my life. From a very young age, even as a child, I have known that I am meant to be a mother. I truly do believe that's the reason I'm here, and we only have to watch movies to see that the people who are the most desperate for children are the ones who will struggle to have them. I know life isn't like a movie but they must have come up with the ideas somewhere!
Anyway. I do wonder, but there's no point in worrying unnecessarily. We're only just married, we're not going to be thinking about starting a family just yet. In the meantime I will trust that God knows what He is doing and whether I bear my own biological children or we choose to adopt a child, I will be a mother one day and our family will be complete. As for me and my house, we will praise the Lord!
I'm praying over my spiritual gifting, just as I'm praying to know God's plan for my life so that I can start walking in His will. I'm hopeful that the emptiness I feel within myself will right itself when I am in a better place with God. When I was first saved I had a fire bubbling up in my stomach, I was excited and I felt that I was so close to God and His will for me. I feel that I've been seperated somewhat from that place and I need to find a way to get back there. I pray that when I do climb back up to God's throne room, that missing piece will be there waiting for me. Whether it's in the form of a Spiritual Gift or just to rekindle the fire I once had.
I'm leaving you now, excited, rather than dejected!
God promised all those women that they would not be barren forever. I'm holding Him to that covenant for myself!
Keep claiming your promises!
- Lisa xx
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