Why No Posts?

OK, let me be honest with you all now.

I've been away for a while and while it's true that I've been busy wedding planning (it's less than three months away y'know!) and I've had surgery on my foot (it's almost healed now) the real reason I've been avoiding, yes actually avoiding, my blog is twofold:

At a prayer meeting at church we were discussing testimonies and I complained, again, that I don't have a testimony. My friend challenged me and told me that she wants to read all about my testimony on my blog... I've struggled to write it but I didn't want to let her down so I also didn't post anything else.

Secondly, and this is quite embarrassing as you're going to be acquainted with a really annoying part of myself... The last time I was on here I tried to make some changes to the font style and such. It wasn't working and I got so frustrated I almost burst into tears and slammed the laptop closed, never to blog again!

That's me! I'm easily flustered and I just don't know what to do so I just throw a mini tantrum like a three year old... Have you ever played with on of those wire loop things where you have to get the metal key to the other side without it touching? I think that's where it started - it made me feel physically sick and I was so frustrated I just wanted to throw it against a wall! Maybe I have rage issues, haha!

So I'm working on it...

- Lisa

Poem - Gentle Jesus

Gentle Jesus

 

Little lamb

Meek and mild

Jesus Christ

Gentle child

You are the Messiah

The Saviour of all

The Son of God

At Your feet I fall

I cry to You for deliverance

For mercy at Your feet

I see You touching others

Healing everyone You meet

My Lord I come to You in need

With faith I know You’ll comply

Your heart is for the restless souls

Your love great for those who cry

Baby Jesus; a King was born

A King to take my sin away

A King to grant me eternal life

To love so that others may

Precious Lord, my saving Grace

You’ll return with force

No longer meek, but Mighty

A warrior, fighting upon a horse

You promised to come back for us

A Bridegroom for His Bride

You’ll slay the evil captors

And sit at the Father’s side

Gentle Jesus meek and mild

If only they know the truth

Jesus the Warrior, come to fight

Eye for eye; tooth for tooth

Copyright - Lisa Davies, November 8th, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

A Personal Tribute

Friday was the hardest day of my life so far.

Two weeks ago, Thursday 17 October, Riki had just started making dinner and I was with mum in the living room - we were about to sit down for a family games night. As I went to help Riki in the kitchen, mum answered the phone and shouted that my cousin's house was on fire.

Obviously we dropped everything and went straight to her house, which was less than a two-minute drive down the road. As we were leaving, we thought it would be something simple, like a chip-pan fire. We got to the end of our street and saw a fire engine speeding past, sirens and blue lights and all, our hearts sank and we started to worry.

We arrived to find fire engines, ambulances and so many by-standers we could barely reach the house.

The press were like vultures, they were there in less than 30 minutes and were right in our faces. I was absolutely disgusted. They have provided news stories and articles which were erroneous and, in some instances, outright slanderous. I felt it was my duty to tell the truth.

My cousin had been out at her weekly marching band practice and had left her two children, a six year-old boy, D, and two year-old girl, L, with our other cousin, aged 15, who was babysitting with his eleven year-old brother.

I found D standing in the next-door neighbour's doorway, in just his underpants. I instantly took off my cardigan, wrapped him up and scooped him into my arms, sending Riki to the car for another coat for him.  I located my cousins, the boys who had been babysitting, and they seemed to be ok. Then I realised I hadn't seen the little girl. I started asking, "Where's the baby?", grabbing every fireman, paramedic and bystander, "Where's baby? Where's L?" Nobody was able to help and eventually we learned that she had already been taken to hospital in an ambulance.

Again, the house didn't look to be in too much of a bad state, until they opened the upstairs window and smoke started billowing out, so thick it was still window-shaped. That's when I knew it was worse than we thought.

My cousin returned from band practice, after being collected by her grandad. The first thing she did was to scream, "What's happened? Where's my babies?"

The next ten or twenty minutes are a bit of a blur. I gave D to a female paramedic who had just arrived as he hadn't been checked over yet - none of the boys had been. They wanted to take them all to hospital to check them over properly.

A police officer asked my cousin if she had a way to get to the hospital as she doesn't drive - we said that one of us would drive her. Five minutes later the police officer returned to say that he would take her in his patrol car. My mum went with her as her own mother had gone in the ambulance with the boys. Riki and I went to pick up my uncle so that he and my aunt, the babysitters' parents, could go to the hospital to be with their sons. I left the scene, stating, "She'll be fine. I'll get everyone praying for her".

We were in our house when we learned that L had passed away. She was lifeless when she'd arrived at the hospital but they had done everything they could. My aunt broke down, obviously, but I don't think I'd quite accepted it yet. We drove to the hospital almost in silence, my aunt had calmed down as she wanted to be strong for the boys - they weren't aware.

My mum was in the family room with my cousin when they were told the news. My cousin's mum hadn't arrived yet. I can't imagine how difficult that was. My cousin kept asking my mum to tell her it wasn't true saying, "Auntie R, do something". When we arrived we went in to the boys and stayed there to keep them company. They didn't know and it was the most difficult couple of hours of my life, especially when the nurse gave D a cuddly toy and after playing with it for a while, he stated, "I'm going to give this to L".

That night I drove my cousin home, along with her mum and little D. Obviously she couldn't go to her house so she stayed with her mum. It was a difficult journey. My cousin was just numb; in total shock but trying to be strong for her six year-old son. I didn't know what to say, I just kept asking if she was warm enough, cool enough, etc. I was so pathetic.

The inquest was opened but adjourned on the same day. It'll re-open in six months but we are expecting the cause to be an electrical fault. There was no smoke alarm in the property; I can't go into too many details due to the inquest but I can say that my 15 year-old cousin was amazing. I'm so proud of the way he reacted so quickly. He even took off his t-shirt, soaked it in water and tried to get into the room to save L but unfortunately, he was unable to. He did everything he possibly could have and nobody else would have been able to do any more. If he wasn't so mature and reactive, there could well have been another three victims. He needs our support and prayers during this time as I doubt he'll ever be able to move on fully.

Friday was L's funeral. I've never seen such a small casket, it was purple with white daisies. The service was beautiful but devastating. It still didn't seem real. The press were there, again. I couldn't believe that such an emotional and sacred ceremony wasn't safe from the tabloids. One newspaper even has quotations taken from the Reverend's eulogy. How they got those, I'll never know. Another newpaper has a video of us on their website, from one angle it looks as though the reporter was lying on the ground, waiting for us to walk past with the coffin.

I haven't really allowed myself to cry or grieve as I've always been the strong one in my family and I'm scared that if I start, I won't be able to stop again. I've let a few tears escape but I know that eventually, if I keep them inside, it'll turn to strength. We all deal with things differently and I guess this is just my way.

***

This is my family - it isn't just a news story or a juicy tidbit to gossip over. Our family lost one of our children in one of the most tragic ways possible and we're grieving. It has taken a lot of thought and debate about whether I should post this but I guess the reason I wanted to share it with you all is because I know there'll be questions. The news have reported just the bits and pieces they wanted to, complete with the wrong hospital, the wrong ages and even the wrong number of children in the house - who knows what else was wrong - I can only tell the facts as I saw them.

My cousin lost her baby girl. A six year-old boy lost his baby sister. They will never see her smiling face again, never hear her voice. They'll never get to see her first day of school or her first attempt at writing her name. I can't imagine how that feels. In her novel, My Sister's Keeper, Jodi Picoult writes, "In the English language there are orphans and widows, but there is no word for the parents who lose a child" - I believe this is the case because there's simply no pain like it.

A lot of people will question my faith in this time. I've heard people say, "I'm not very religious but if there is a God, why would He allow this to happen?" or, "Why would God do this?"

I'm not going to lie to you; I've struggled with this question myself but I've never doubted God. I have to accept that God has a plan which is bigger than all of us. I think we have to take comfort wherever we can find it in these times and I guess I find comfort in the idea that most of us spend our whole lives striving to get to heaven; God allowed L to get there without having to face the hardships of life. Who's to know what she might have had to endure in her life, all I know is that God has a plan and we have to respect that plan, and who knows, perhaps even be grateful for it in the long term.

As for the "How can God do this?" argument, I don't believe in placing blame. God gives us free will and He didn't stand there in the bedroom with a lighter or a match. He didn't make this happen. He might have known it was going to happen, but I don't believe He orchestrated it. He just has to be there to deal with the heartbreak and, if we'll allow Him, to comfort us and give us the peace that we so need in these times.

My family is strong and very tight-knit. I thank God for them and their strength but I ask each one of you to hold us up in your prayers, especially my cousin and her son, as they prepare to move into a new house without their beautiful princess, I pray that they will feel the loving and comforting arms of our God and that there will be a peace coming over them. Although there will always be a hollowness in their home and in their hearts, I pray that L's memory will live on.

I also ask you to pray for my cousin, the 15 year-old boy who was babysitting. He is struggling in a lot of ways but I pray that he will also be comforted and that any spirit of guilt or blame will be loosed from him. That young man deserves a medal, not gossip and malicious rumours preventing him from returning to school. I pray that he will have peace and will be able to move on, as much as possible. That he will sleep soundly at night, without images and scenarios running around in his mind.

I also pray for the wider family: grandparents; great-grandparents; aunts; uncles; and cousins. I ask that you will join with me in praying for my family. I am upholding them in prayer as much as I can but it's a big job for one person. I pray that we will become even stronger as a family unit and that together, we will get through the heartache and devastation. I pray that God's plan and purpose will be revealed and that my family may come to know Him through the comfort and peace that
they feel.

Lastly, I ask you to join me in thanking God for the short life that L had - the short time that we were blessed enough to have had with her and the impact that she has made on so many lives; not just her family and friends but the wider community and even the nation. Complete strangers have been so touched by this tragedy and have been more generous than anyone could ever imagine. Even in such a difficult and trying time, we need to find times to rejoice and thank the Lord for His goodness!

As I said earlier, we have different ways of letting out our emotions and grief. Thank you for allowing me an outlet for mine.

-Lisa

Say "NO" to Halloween

Today is the worst day of the year for me. I hate Halloween with all that I am. I know that there are some Christians out there who don't mind it. Some even participate in the rituals and "celebrations", claiming that it's just a "bit of fun" nowadays. It makes me feel physically ill. I actually detest it and here's why.

The official line is “it glorifies all that is evil” – I do accept this, but there’s other reasons too… Here's why I'm totally against Trick-or-Treating specifically:

• There’s the begging thing. It’s the same with the “Penny for the Guy” craze (which used to only happen during the first 5 days in November when I was a child, now I see them outside supermarkets from mid-October!) At the end of the day, I won’t encourage my children to go out begging strangers for money or sweets. I will buy them candy, chocolate and give them pocket money, they don’t need to act like paupers and terrifying people, especially the elderly in the dark evenings.
• We teach children not to talk to or accept sweets from strangers and then one night a year, we encourage them to dress up and go knocking on the doors of strangers (who could be convicted paedophiles) and ask them for sweets or money. Some children aren’t even accompanied by an adult – I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. Plus, it’s giving them mixed messages, and how do you know that those homemade cupcakes (or even those packaged sweets) aren’t laced with drugs?!
• Why anyone would want to dress their child like a demon, a zombie, or a witch is beyond me – surely children should still be innocent and not even know about these things yet?! When I was a child I would dress as a princess or a ballerina – not on Halloween, just in general. I didn’t even know that there were such things as zombies! This age of innocence is so precious, why let it escape too soon?
• I believe in these things. I believe that demons and witches exist and they’re dangerous. It’s not just a bit of harmless fun and I don’t want to promote it. To me, it’s just like telling someone how to make a Ouija Board – they’ll become interested and then a huge can of worms has been opened. Before you know it, they’re in too deep, have been possessed or may even be dead.
• It scares the heck out of me! I know that it’s real and it terrifies me!

The notice I put up outside my house

A friend commented that he didn’t accept that witches exist. Well I believe that they do. They might not necessarily have pointy hats and broomsticks but there are very real witches, wiccans, witchdoctors and shamans who cast spells, make potions and commune with spirits… In this country there are hundreds, if not thousands, of mediums and spiritualists who also claim to commune with the dead and that terrifies me too! It's a shame that people don't realise how dangerous it is until it's too late…

Here's a link to a website discussing Halloween, from the point of view of an ex-wiccan, ex-psychic, ex-witch who is now a Christian. It's a great read.

In the Bible, it says that:

• Men and women among you who act as mediums or psychics must be put to death by stoning. They are guilty of a capital offense. (Leviticus 20:27)
• Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God. (Leviticus 19:31)
• Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the LORD, and because of these detestable practices the LORD your God will drive out those nations before you. You must be blameless before the LORD your God (Deuteronomy 18:10-13)
• When men tell you to consult mediums and spiritists, who whisper and mutter, should not a people inquire of their God? Why consult the dead on behalf of the living? (Isaiah 8:19)
• For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God and people. He is the man Christ Jesus. (1 Timothy 2:5)

There are many more scriptures but these few are reason enough for me to feel uncomfortable, and I shouldn’t have to explain myself to friends, family, especially not my employers (but that’s another story). Why is it so difficult for some people to accept that I simply do not want anything to do with Halloween, and that I feel physically sick and uncomfortable discussing their “ways around” it. For example, witches are not folklore – they’re real and dangerous. Regardless of whether it is Halloween or not, I refuse to participate in any witch related activities (decorating witch hats with the children at nursery – apparently witches are folklore so it shouldn’t be taboo for my beliefs! I’m sorry, who made you the keeper of what I believe in?!)

If you have to find ways to rationalise what you're doing, should you really be doing it?

I'll be totally honest with you now. I'm quite impressionable. As a child and young teenager I watched shows like Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Charmed, moving on to movies like The Craft and Satan's School for Girls. I loved these shows and I was drawn in to them. I know they're fiction and they're created for enjoyment but I was fascinated with magic and witchcraft - and I'd been in the church from the age of two!

I'm not saying that these shows and movies are bad but I was becoming hooked and didn't know when to leave it alone. I was looking online for spells; buying books and magazines; searching for witch schools and my friends and I were in the process of looking for "a fourth" to create our coven of witches (we were around 13-14 years old and didn't really grasp the danger). I'm so grateful that we gave up and grew up. It's so easy to be drawn in, especially when you're searching for answers.

Here's something I've just seen on Facebook. I don't know the gentleman who posted it as it was shared by a mutual friend but I have a few issues with his reasoning.

He states that it's ok to join in with the celebrations because, basically, they don't mean anything unless you want them to.

I disagree.

Regardless of what you think; the frame of mind you're in; the rationale you use so that you can sleep at night, it's still rooted in Paganistic and Satanistic rituals and symbolism.

A colleague made a similar argument to me yesterday at work and I responded with this: If you play with a Ouija board but don't believe in it; just think it's a bit of fun, does that mean that nothing will happen? No! Of course not! Satan doesn't care what you believe. You've opened a doorway whether you know it or not!

 
Anyway, I just thought I’d share. Obviously my opinions and beliefs won’t be for everyone and I’m not suggesting that all Christians feel the same way. I’m just sharing what I feel!

If you are going out Trick or Treating for Halloween, please be careful and vigilant. It’s not just a bit of fun!

- Lisa

P.S. If you’re interested, here’s a message I received on 25 October 2008 about the history of Halloween. I think the most important part of the whole thing is the last part: “A final note, is the fact that Halloween is the high holy day of the satanic church. So it still bears a very dark side indeed, even today!”

As our children get ready to go “Trick-or-Treating” let us learn a little about the day “Halloween.”
Therefore we will look at a ancient pagan ritual, that is still practiced today. It’s original name was “Samhain,” however we know it as “Halloween.”
“Samhain” began at sundown on October 31st and extended into the following day. According to the Celtic pagan religion, known as Druidism, the spirits of those who had died roamed the earth on “Samhain” evening. This night was much feared by the Celtic people, and they sought to ward off the spirits with offerings of food and drink.
The dark side of this event was the fact that the Celts built bonfires, at so called sacred sights, and sometimes preformed rituals involving HUMAN and/or Animal Sacrifices, to honor Druid gods. “Samhain” was abandoned only when the people converted to Christianity during the very early middle ages. Now during that period of time the Church often incorporated modified versions of ancient pagan rituals in order to win over converts.
For example, Pope Gregory IV successfully replaced “Samhain” with All Saints Day, which fell on November 1, thus the evening of October 31 became known as All Hallows’ Even, which was later shortened to Halloween.
All Souls Day, as it is known as today, is a Holy Day in the Roman Catholic, and Anglican Churches, honoring those who have passed away.
Some aspects of this ancient pagan tradition thought to be incompatible with Christianity, were linked with folk beliefs about evil spirits.
In British folklore, small magical fairies became associated with Halloween mischief. The jack-o-lantern, originally carved from a turnip, originated in medieval Scotland. A small candle would be put into the turnip, that had a scary face carved on it. This was to be lit at night and displayed to scare off evil spirits which they feared roamed about that night.
Between the 15th & 17th Centuries, Europe was seized by a hysterical fear of witches, who were thought to ride flying brooms and to assume the form of black cats. Thus the images of witches and black cats soon joined other European superstitions as symbols of Halloween.
In the 19th & early 20th Centuries, young people often observed Halloween by perpetrating minor acts of vandalism, such as overturning sheds or breaking windows. Beginning inthe 1930′s, Halloween mischief gradually transformed into the modern ritual of trick-or-treating, though some still choose to perform acts of vandalism on Halloween still today. A final note, is the fact that Halloween is the high holy day of the satanic church. So it still bears a very dark side indeed, even today!
References: ( Encarta Reference Library 2008, and theEncyclopedia Britannica 2006. )

Helium Balloons and Takesy-Backsies

Guess where I’m writing this post from… Want a clue? It’s pretty dark and cold and very uncomfortable…

I’m in my car in the car park of my church!

No, I haven’t gone mad. Nor have I found a sweet writing spot. Riki has joined an Alpha course (Praise God!) and rather than driving all the way back home to have to drive back to pick him up again in a couple of hours, I figured I’d stay and wait. I guess I could have gone inside but I’ve already done an Alpha course a few years ago. As much as I loved it and would definitely do another, I felt it was important for him to do this by himself – allow him to really open up and spend quality time fellowshipping without me taking the lead!

So I’m in the car park. I have a bunch of unfinished blog posts in my Drafts folder – I don’t know why I can’t seem to finish any to a decent “post-able” standard. I’m a perfectionist and I often think, “there’s something else there, something missing, but what?” so it goes onto the drafts pile.

If I’m honest, I’ve been struggling again recently. I’m back to trying to “help” God in Riki’s salvation.

Last week he didn’t go to Alpha and I was so upset and frustrated, I sat in the kitchen watching the washing machine go around, rather than talking to him! I know it’s not helping anything and I can’t force him, but I'm only human. I thought he’d made a breakthrough and then taken a step back. 

I find myself having to tell God (and myself) more and more often that I trust Him and I know that it’s in His time, not mine, etc, etc… Maybe one day it’ll sink in and I’ll finally let go and let God deal with it!

I guess that’s what I wanted to post about tonight. It’s one of the many notes I’ve jotted down but not gotten around to creating a post around; letting go.

I’ve posted something about letting go of our sicknesses and labels (here) but this is a general thing, based on my own experience.

Generally, I say to myself and to my friends, “Give up; there’s no more you can physically do, it’s time to let go and give it to God”.

Easy, peasy?

Nope!

It’s certainly one of those “easier said than done” things.

You see, I’m great at giving up. I’m brilliant at asking God to take control of whatever I’m struggling with. I’m even pretty good at releasing that tight hold I have.

Try to imagine, if you will, a helium balloon. This symbolises my issue or struggle.  It naturally tries to float away, out of my control, up towards the heavens. This is how it is with whatever we’re clinging to – God is trying to take it away and deal with it for us but unless we let go and allow it to float up to Him, it’s going nowhere!

I can let go of the balloon, no problem. I might even try to give it a head start by thrusting it upwards, “Incoming! Catch, Lord, it’s Yours now!”

But what’s this? As it’s floating up towards the only One who can sort it out, it suddenly comes to a halt and that’s when we see that there’s a piece of string, pulled taut and attached to the bottom of the balloon. Where’s the other end? That’s right, in my hand! I’ve relinquished my grip on the balloon, the struggle, but I’m not letting go completely! I need to keep some control over it – I need to keep some kind of ownership of it. It’s my problem, and I’m not letting go of it. I guess it could even come back to the “it’s part of me and who I am” mind-set I’ve discussed before.

So what are the implications of clinging onto this balloon? Well from a purely physical standpoint, it’s exhausting! It’s trying to break free and I’m expending all my strength trying to keep hold of it. Have you ever tried walking a very large, very boisterous dog? They're wanting to run and they almost pull your arm out of its socket as you try to rein them in! From a spiritual point of view it’s even more worrisome. Why should God keep fighting and pulling against me, trying to help me, if I’m not co-operating? How long will He try? How many chances do I get?

So how long will we keep doing this? How often will God try to step in and help us out, only to have it metaphorically thrown back in His face?

How can we have the audacity to ask for His help; to tell Him that it’s His, and then ask for it back, or worse still, never truly give it in the first place?

Imagine if you had a friend who was going to give you a gift. She’d been telling you for weeks or months about this gift and you were really excited about it. How about when the day comes along and you’re expectant, you’ve prepared yourself and you’re on your way to meet her to collect this gift. How would you feel if she turned up empty handed? Oh yes, she had bought the gift but then decided that she wanted to keep it for herself.

I don’t think I’d be too far wrong if I said that you’d be a little peeved. It’s only natural! I’d probably think she were selfish, inconsiderate and, quite frankly, a little rude!

When I was at primary school we had a saying. If someone had given a gift, or even something as insignificant as a chewing gum, and then asked for it back, we’d call them “taker-backerers”. I know it’s childish (I’ve heard other names for it but I don’t think they’re quite as charming, or politically correct!)

Obviously, this isn’t the same thing. God is merciful and ever understanding, and I don’t think He would be angry or annoyed with us. I doubt He’d call us names anyway, but I certainly wouldn’t want to be a “taker-backerer” from God!

It’s difficult, and nobody can deny that, but imagine the freedom when we finally let go of those things we’re bound by!

I’m not going to lie to you, I can’t give you a 3-step program, not even a 12-step program to get to that place, because I’m still struggling with it myself. I have no idea what works, or how to make it easier. All I can say is, PRAY! Pray over it and ask for God’s strength; His courage and boldness. There’s no way that we can do this kind of spiritual release in our own strength. We need God.

Keep on it; it’ll be worth your while!

-          And keep me posted!

Be blessed,

-Lisa

Amen

When Jesus taught us how to pray, He demonstrated with the Lord's Prayer.

As you can see, He ended the prayer with, "Amen".

You may recall from my last post (here) that as a child I thought of prayers as if they were letters to a long lost, posh relative, or stories which needed to be told in the correct and proper way. With this in mind, I assumed that the word, "Amen" meant "The End".

Feel free to laugh at me here but I remember so many prayers as a youngster, in fact almost every time, where I would go through the motions of my prayer and say "Amen" and then remember something else to add. I'd say to God, "Sorry, sorry, not Amen, I forgot something!"

Sometimes I'd even finish with the Lord's Prayer but end up confused and worried because I felt that I had to say the "Amen" at the end but also conclude with "in Jesus' name, Amen", like I'd heard people at church do - so I'd say it twice!

So what does "Amen" actually mean?

It seems, through looking at the different versions of the Bible, that the word "Amen" has been translated into phrases such as: "so let it be"; "so be it"; "I agree"; and "may the Lord do so".

According to my research (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) the first instance of the word "Amen" in the Bible was in Numbers 5 and the last occurance is in Revelation, appearing a total of 78 times throughout the whole Bible.

In Numbers 5:22, the word seems to mean "so be it", referring to a curse befalling the woman accused of committing adultery. The priest would make her drink some water mixed with dust from the floor of the tabernacle. If she were guilty, the Lord would make her thigh fall away and her body swell (Numbers 5:21). In order to acknowledge the severity of this accusation and accept the judgement, the woman was required to say, "Amen, Amen" or, in some other translations, "So be it, so be it".

Remember, the penalty for adultery back then wasn't a quickie divorce, a raised eyebrow and a few less friends. It was death. If a woman was found guilty of committing adultery, she would be put to death. If you don't believe me, read Leviticus and Deuteronomy, women were either stoned to death or burnt with fire.

For a moment, put yourself in her shoes - saying "Amen" just before drinking that potential cup of death isn't just a nice ending to a prayer. It isn't just a fluffy word that we all use everyday without thinking twice about it. It was a solemn and potentially condemning word which was almost certainly not said lightly. She may as well have invited God to strike her down there and then if she were found to be lying.

Sometimes I think that we are guilty of forgetting the importance of the word and the implications of it. It's understandable, what with the constant requests for, "can I get an Amen?" and  people using the word as a synonym for, "yeah I agree with that".

As an example, check out this meme (a comedy picture circulating around social media)

Now, I'm all for the message - I don't want to see underwear either, but is it really something that requires an "Amen"?

I doubt it!

I'm struggling to get to the point of what I'm trying to say here. I guess what I wanted to share is that, it doesn't matter if we say "Amen" at the end of our prayer, or if we say it three or four times during our prayer. It doesn't matter if we say it in our daily lives, it's not an end point. It's an affirmation; an acceptance; an expectation.

I've thoroughly enjoyed researching this - so much so that this post has taken me close to three hours - there's so much more I wish I could have gone into but I wouldn't want to go on and on and bore you all to tears! Just because I discover an interest in everything and love researching, it doesn't mean you guys want to read an encyclopedia, does it?

So I'll leave it there, for now. I hope this topic has given you food for thought as much as it has me. Maybe next time we revisit this - as I'm sure we will - I'll delve into the use of "Amen" as a congregation or gathering of people, or into the New Testament use of the word... there's so much!

I pray that you are blessed abundantly - and I think we can all agree on an "Amen" there!

- Lisa

How Do You Pray?

Today I want to talk to you about prayer.

I know it's such a cliche for a faith-based blog to discuss prayer, it's obvious but it's so important! Prayer is the cornerstone of our relationship with God.

I believe in prayer and the power of prayer. I went through life thinking the same as most people, "prayer is talking to God". I have learned, though, that prayer is not simply talking to God, but conversing with Him. You wouldn't have a very good relationship with someone if you only ever talked to them and never let them respond, would you?

I'm not yet very good at listening to God. I've mentioned this before (here), but I struggle to keep my mouth shut, stop my mind whizzing and stay still long enough to hear Him. 

So I thought I'd keep the process of prayer in mind for a few days and see if I could come up with something to write on. My main idea was that there are so many different types of prayer, and lots of different types of people, each with their own ideas and thoughts regarding how and why they pray.

Like a lot of people, as a child I thought I had to be very formal in prayer, starting with "Dear God" or something along those lines. I'd remember my Ps and Qs and adopted my mum's phone voice when I spoke to God. As I've grown up and come to know God more as my relationship with Him has deepened, I've realised that I don't have to put on all those airs and graces. Do I speak to my mum as if I were talking to the queen? No! And I shouldn't feel like I have to speak to my Father that way, either.

I started to generally chat to God as I went about my day-to-day business. Rather than specifically sitting down to pray, I'd just keep Him in conversation throughout the day. I guess the way I'd describe it is like a child with their imaginary friend; someone who's always there, always with me, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing.

The other day I was looking at my new engagement ring and I was thanking the Lord for Riki (which I often do!) I thanked Him for bringing the two of us together and for being so apparent in our lives. I looked at my ring and I remember saying, "Lord, I know you said that you didn't want us to be too enamoured with jewellery and earthly possessions, but I just love sparkles!"

Now some people may think that I take too much of a conversational, friendly tone with God, but I don't think I do. This way of chatting in prayer works for me. As a child I would fall asleep, every night without fail, in the middle of my prayers. They were boring and it was as if I were writing a letter to a great uncle or something! It's taken me a long time but now I've found something that works for me, who can say it's wrong?

Our family had a bit of a scare last week. It was my brother's birthday and on the way home from being out with friends, he was mugged. He had been assaulted nine years ago and suffered a brain hemorrhage - it was very touch-and-go for a few days but after a lot of prayer, he came through it. He has some brain damage, mostly affecting his memory and fine cognitive skills, and is still affected by anxiety occasionally but in general he's absolutely fine. Obviously when I got the call at work on Saturday morning, I immediately thought the worst. I burst into tears and rushed home - I have no idea how I drove home - but the very first thing I did was pray. I then called a good friend from church and asked her to pray.

My brother was fine. Cuts and bruises and psychologically tender but he's going to be absolutely fine. I thank the Lord for him - I truly adore my brother and we're closer than most siblings. I pray for him regularly to find his way back to God - his soul has alrady been paid for by Jesus' blood and I know that the same seed sown into my own life as a child has been sown into his. I claim his soul for God and I will never stop!

So I believe in prayer and I have seen proof of its power on quite a few seperate occasions throughout my life. I don't think it matters how we pray; how we structure or vocalise our prayers, or even if we choose to say them in our head - sometimes I don't like to pray aloud. I don't think it matters to God in the slightest, He just wants us to talk to Him, and listen for His response. He wants us to share our lives with Him, and even though my argument for years was, "Well, God knows everything, why do I have to tell him stuff?" He wants us to want to spend time with Him; to share our innermost thoughts, ideas, hopes and dreams. Just like we want for our own children - would you prefer to snoop through your child's journal and internet history or would you prefer for them to come and talk to you?

Whether we kneel on the floor, close our eyes and put our hands together, or simply chat to God as we would our family while we're washing the dishes, as long as we're seeking and spending time with our heavenly Father, what else matters?!

I'm interested, how do you pray?
~ Lisa

Welcome Back (with Big News!)

Hi everyone! I'm sure (well, I hope) you noticed I've been away for  while. It's been killing me but now I can tell you. I've been holding back from all forms of social media for a while because I had big news but I didn't want to say anything too soon and anyone who knows me knows that I can't keep a secret to save my life!

Firstly, I passed my driving test! Yaay! After a lot of hassle and very nearly cancelling it last minute after a few issues with my instructor, I decided to just take it as a practice test. No pressure and I had no intention of passing at all - imagine my shock when the examiner congratulated me!

Secondly, and more importantly, I'm getting married! 
 
Riki and I have been planning it on the quiet for a couple of months - as I've said in a previous post, we knew from the start that we were going to get married so it wasn't a surprise, we just couldn't afford to until after we'd both graduated university and settled in full-time jobs. We kept it quiet because as much as we knew we were going to get married, he's a romantic and he wanted to give me an actual proposal (I'm so blessed and I thank God for how wonderful he is!)

So we're getting married in March and I can't wait! We've made all kinds of plans and booked pretty much all the necessities.

If you've read about my journey, you'll know I grew up in a small Baptist church. As much as I adore my current church and feel that it's where I belong, I'm going to be getting married at the Baptist church. It's been a difficult decision for a few reasons:

• I don't attend this church anymore as I feel more spiritually "fed" at my current church
• It's not the prettiest church - in fact it's just a little square building which looks more like a community centre
• I don't want to offend or upset my Pastor or any of the church congregation

The reasons I did choose to get married there are:

• It's my "home" church - I grew up there and was there before it was even built, when we met in a tin hut!
• My Grandparents still attend that church and my Grandad has Parkinsons which is exacerbated by new and unfamiliar situations - I want him to be comfortable. Also, my Grandparents don't like my church, they say it's "too bouncy" - they came for my baptism but it was too much for them (and I fear it will be too much for some of our unsaved friends/family)
• The minister is lovely. She is happy to divulge my crazy organisation needs and will allow my Pastor to be involved if he wishes!

So I think I've made the right decision. It's not about getting married in the prettiest church there is, it's about making a commitment to another person, before God and friends and family.

Which brings me on to my next point, the Vows.

Why are so many people obsessed with taking out the "I promise to obey" vow? I think I'll go into this in a bit more depth at a later date but I'm going to follow Ephesians 5:22,

"Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) 

to your husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the 

husband is the head of the wife, as Christ is the 

head of the church" (Amplified Version)

Anyway,that's my news, and don't worry, I'm not going to go all bridezilla on you! My posts will get back to normal but I'm just excited so I hijacked this one! I've truly been blessed this past few weeks and I'm glad to be back.

See you soon, and I hope you've all been blessed recently, too!
-Lisa

Girl Guides

I wanted to post this a few days ago but I've been letting is simmer for a while as I'm so upset and hurt about it, I didn't want to post in that state of mind.

In York with a Girl Guiding sign - I was proud to be involved!

As you may or may not know, I have been involved in the Girl Guiding movement all my life. I know a lot of people probably say this but I mean literally. I joke that it's in my blood; it's who I am. My Grandma was a Girl Guide, going on to be a Guides leader and then District Commissioner, continuing on to be a Brownie Guides leader - she retired after gaining her 40 years' service honours. My mum followed in Grandma's footsteps and did both Guides and Brownies, earning her 20 years' service and then I joined in, qualifying as a Brownie leader.  In fact, I never really left! I 'finished' Brownies at 11 years old, stayed on to 'help out' and then when I was old enough, started my leadership qualification.

Three generations of Guiders (back in 2006)

Unfortunately due to work commitments, we had to close our unit in 2012. It was devastating. We had been through ups and downs and thought we'd have to close a couple of years previously when we were down to around 3 girls on our books - most girls wanted to join cubs and scouts since they became unisex. We did a last ditch recruitment drive, putting up posters and flyers and we turned it around.

Grandma making the headlines for delivering
me and keeping her Guide Promise!

We had a big party at the last meeting and there were tears all round. I genuinely loved those girls and all that we stood for. We met up in the November to attend the annual Remembrance Parade, as we always had done, but just as ordinary members of the public, rather than a uniformed organisation. It was strange but I wanted to go - I'd never missed one in all my life! Unfortunatly I don't think I'll be able to attend this year - it's just too difficult and raw at the moment.
I still get teary when I think about it!

So why am I telling you all of this? I guess that I just wanted to give you a bit of background. I'm sure that if you read the newspapers regularly, you'll have seen the news last week that the Girl Guiding movement have taken steps to remove God from their Promise.

The Brownie Promise was:

I Promise to do my best: 

To love my God, to serve the Queen and my country, 

To help other people and To keep the Brownie Guide Law

It has now been changed to:

I Promise to do my best: 

To be true to myself and develop my beliefs. 

To serve the Queen and my community,

To help other people and to keep the Brownie Guide Law

Now it's not the first time the Promise has changed. Apparently, in 1994, a little girl refused to say that she would "do her duty to God" as was the Promise, so they changed it to "love my God", which would emcompass all peronal beliefs and 'gods' in general.

We had a Brownie once who was happy to participate in everything. She never mentioned anything about her Promise but her mum came in early one night and heard us saying our prayer. She wasn't happy and said that she didnt want her daughter to participate in it. We explained that as a Christian organisation, and as our meeting place was a church, we weren't going to stop doing it. If her daughter didn't want to join in, she didn't have to, and we would take her name off the list to read the prayer. This pacified the situation but the little girl was really upset that her name wasn't on the list, often asking (as they all did), "when is it my turn to read the prayer?" and joining in with the Lord's Prayer every week, unless she spotted her mum.

I had always said that once I had got myself settled: married; children; and living in an area I'm going to stay in, that's when I'll renew my warrant and re-open a Brownie unit. As I stated earlier, it's who I am; I'm lost without it. Now that they've secularised themselves, though, and basically turned their back on all they stand for, I won't bother. I still have a heart for voluntary and children's work but I'll have to find another outlet for it.

Julie Bentley - campaigner for
abortion rights and the
woman who removed
God from Girl Guiding.

To say I'm devastated isn't an over-reaction. If anything, it's an understatement!


I guess it was only a matter of time, after all, they did hire a woman as Chief Executive last year who was former head of the Family Planning Association, an abortion and contraception group (and had never been a Guide herself!). She said last yar that the Girl Guides are "the ultimate feminist organisation" - I retweeted them telling them exactly what I thought of that and that I was ashamed to be a part of it. I mean rally, why we need a Chief Exec is beyond me - it's a charity, not a business.

I'll end with a quote from Stephen Glover in the Daily Mail (please don't discredit me for using the DM - I know they're not the most prestigious but my Grandma sent me a clipping!) 
"You may think the Girl Guides are unimportant, but they're not. A promise that once soared to embrace God and country is cut back to concentrate on self. don't tell me that this won't be a big thing for millions of young women."

My heart breaks. Pray for our young people, our country and those in charge.
- Lisa