Sunday 20 September 2020

Christ Able: Our journey from home school to school school

Did I ever share the story of how our eldest came to be at school?

I had been planning to home educate for years before Noah was ever born, for lots of reasons but mostly because I was worried about "worldly corruption" and navigating the Halloween season. As an Early Years Teacher myself, I had also experienced too many subpar settings and was worried that none of the schools in our catchment area were good enough.

I came up against a bit of resistance from our wider family and friends and so I often prayed for God to show me His will in this situation.

Suddenly, the day after Riki had a GP appointment to discuss a vasectomy, we found that we were pregnant with Bondling #3 and needed a bigger house. I prayed my socks off, enlisting Noah to partner in prayer with me for the perfect house. I made a sort-of deal that if the Lord would give us a forever home in the catchment area for the best school possible, I would take that as a sign that it was God's will for him to go to school, and as much as it would hurt my pride, I would support it fully.

We heard news of an estate being built in a good location. We didn't dare hope for it but we included it in our prayers as a possibility, only if it was God's will. As the weeks turned into months, my belly grew and so did the houses on the new estate. Arla Beth was born in January but we still hadn't found a new home.

We put in a bid for a house on the same street as my parents, it was between two "okay" schools and was a nice enough house, but we didn't get it. I carried on praying and outwardly put on a brave face, saying, "our perfect home is out there and we'll find it when it's the right time". Inwardly I was worried that we would be stuck in the two bedroomed cave that we hated.


In March we were in a small car accident and I felt so alienated from our family. Truthfully there was only a 5 minute car journey to my parents' house in the next town but I had developed a crippling post-partum anxiety and desperately needed to be closer. We were on the way to the hospital to be checked over the next day and we had a phonecall.

They were offering us one of the new houses. The street was called Christabel, and was directly next door to - literally shared a footpath with - a primary school which was not only the best in the area but also one of the best in the county. It was an accessible home with wide doors and hallways and a starlift port. Even when my joints succumb to the diseases laying in wait, I would be able to stay here. This could be our forever home.

It was available for us to move in at Easter and we were the first in! I was still reluctant but I made the phonecalls and followed through on my promise to enrol Noah into the nursery. On his first day we were walking to nursery and even though it wasn't raining, there was a complete rainbow in the sky just over the road. We entered his classroom and were welcomed by his teacher, Mrs Peace (I could not make this up if I tried!) When I got home I really had to stop myself calling to check on him. Instead, I looked out of his bedroom window toward his classroom to make sure he wasn't by the door waiting for me (he wasn't), and noticed that the rainbow I had seen was a double rainbow right over the school. I felt so at peace and for the first time I actually trusted that this was right. I don't understand why, but it's not my place to know why. Only to be obedient and trust.


Noah has absolutely thrived and even though I try to provide a rich learning environment for my children at home, I could never have provided the experiences and opportunities he's had at school. I'm so grateful for the teachers and support staff, especially during this time when life has been so difficult for everyone. His time at nursery was cut short in March and it was a long six months. I would be lying if I said I didn't falter in my faith for this particular situation, but a couple of weeks ago he started full time school and it's as if he was never away. We stopped by to say hello to his nursery teachers and they were overcome with emotion at seeing their tiny and shy children suddenly so grown up. My heart broke for them as they never had that chance to say goodbye; they didn't get their closure. Seeing the tears from his teachers strangely made my heart flutter. They loved my son and they missed him, they accepted him and they were proud of him. I can't describe how grateful I am for that.

Today I received a message from Noah's new class teacher who remembered, on her weekend, that I had mentioned that we don't celebrate Halloween. She wanted to make sure that any activities she would be planning would be suitable and not offend our beliefs. She not only understands our concerns but shares them and will uphold them in her classroom. She also happens to be the deputy headteacher and the Early Years lead. This, again, is yet another confirmation that I was absolutely right to trust in God and follow through on my promise to send Noah to this particular school. 

Not only that, but thanks to the experience of such a wonderful school, I've refound my passion for my calling (yes, you read that right; I'm finally accepting that this is my calling). I had worried that I was simply too passionate about my vocation and that after being so disheartened by the negative experiences I'd faced, I would never be able to work in my field. I'd convinced myself that there were too many setbacks and so it must not be God's will for me. In truth I was probably a little scared. I finally feel excited and hopeful for my own future and my career, and that's something I never thought I'd be able to say!

Even when all hope seems lost, when the world seems to be running away from us and time goes too quickly. Even when we've tried everything in our own strength and we just can't. Christabel comes up. "Christ Able" comes up. Because when we can't, Christ can.

Thursday 17 September 2020

Session 4 - Intercession (The Prayer Course)

The Prayer Course


Session 4: Intercession

Key verse

“Your kingdom come” – Matthew 6:10

In this session, we’ll explore the power and importance of praying on behalf of others.

 Other key verses include: 2 Chronicles 7:13-14, Exodus 17:8-13, Genesis 18:22-33

 

Summary points

  • When God’s people intercede, God intervenes.
  • There is power in our free will.
  • 4 steps of intercession: get informed, get inspired, get indignant, get in synch. 

What did you find most helpful or most challenging in the video?

I have always had a sort of “what’s the point” attitude to praying in petition or intercession. I mentioned in Session 1 that this came to a head in August 2017. I just couldn’t understand why I should bother praying for something if God had already ordained our lives and “written” our stories anyway.  In the video, they touched upon this and I was encouraged by the knowledge that our choices can make a difference – look at when Abraham interceded for Sodom because his nephew Lot was there (Genesis 18:16-33). God heard Abraham’s intercession and agreed to withhold His wrath. This shows us that we can make choices in prayer and partner with God. God is not a tyrant; He is a delegator. He wants us to partner with Him.

I was also greatly encouraged by the notion that intercession is for everyone; not just “Spiritual Heavyweights”. Hebrews 7:25 says, “Therefore He is able also to save forever those who draw near to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” - If we are filled with God, we are filled with intercession. It is part of our identity and is an expectation for all of us, not just those who are right on the top of the pulpits or pedestals. Intercession shows that we care; it is a fruit of the Spirit.

I often felt, particularly in the previous church I attended, that I wasn’t “good enough”; that I wasn’t spiritual or mature enough and no matter how much I tried, my prayers would never quite make it as far as the prayers of those other people who were considered “prayer warriors” or “on fire for God”. The truth is that, although I may be seeking a simpler and more truth-based relationship with my Father, I have just as much access to Him as anyone else, because it is not awarded to me based on my ability to pray out loud, or how many bible verses I can recite, or how much I tithe. It is freely given to me by the completely, overwhelmingly, undeserved grace that He offers.

In the session notes, there was an “Up/In/Out” model for a prayer meeting:

Up -worship - We are told to bring our petitions before the Lord with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6) and to enter His courts with praise (Psalm 100:4) To lift our eyes from our own problems and instead look toward the possibilities of God. To use worship as warfare and combine spoken intercession with sung worship as a way to release faith in ourselves and others.

In -listen to the Holy Spirit’s leading

Out – pray for issues within your community

I found this helpful as I often just head straight in with my prayer, probably in some part a fear of forgetting what I wanted to say, but when I think about it, it’s incredibly rude. We’ve all had those friends who don’t stop to ask how you are or even offer the courteous pleasantries before heading straight into a spiel about their own personal dramas. I don’t want to be that person with anyone but especially not with God!

 

How do you feel about intercessory prayer – do you find it’s something that comes naturally or is it more of a challenge?

No. I have to be honest and say that intercessory prayer does not come naturally to me. It’s not that I don’t care about other people; quite the opposite as I’ve always considered my over-active empathy levels to be a burden, but I just don’t know how to pray for other people. I’ll generally say “I’ll pray for you”, and I mean it, but after the initial need has been prayed for, I’m stumped.

 

 

“Our free wills are powerful; they can release or restrict the purposes of God.”

How does this affect the way that we come to God in intercessory prayer?

I never want to do anything to restrict the purposes of God and, frankly, this statement worried me. I don’t think for a moment that I am important enough that I can restrict God – nobody is – but I suppose that if I am stubborn or hardened to something that God has willed for my life and I actively pray against it, God will not over-rule my free will. I often wonder, if Mary had refused to carry the Messiah, would He have chosen someone else or would history look very different now as a result of the promised Saviour never having been born?

In the same way, I often wonder if there is a need or a job that I have been called to, and if I never do it, what will happen? For many years I’ve been plagued with a desperate longing to know God’s calling on my life and, try as I might, I’ve never had a clear or distinct sign. I worry that I’m not walking in God’s will and that the longer I go, the farther away I’ll get, and then what will become of my role in the Kingdom, and the world, if I never fulfil the part that I alone was born to play?

There is such power in our obedience and in our intercession. The bended knee is possibly the most powerful position there is for a Christian.

I try to make a conscious effort to always pray, “Lord, if it is Your will” but of course, this is a difficult reality to accept at times, and often we can’t see it clearly in the moment. It’s not until a long time after the fact that we can see God’s hand over our situation, and many times it’s too late to do anything about it.

I found the “IF, WHEN, THEN” discussion interesting in the video: 2 Chronicles 7:13-14 says, “If I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or if I command the locust to devour the land, or if I send pestilence among My people, and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

IF we make prayer our first priority and don’t immediately try other things first, then WHEN things go wrong, because they inevitably do at some point or another, THEN God will hear our prayers and our cries and heal our land. Our land is in such desperate need of healing right now, and if we would all humble ourselves and take the knee before the Lord, only then will He reach out and help us. He’s not a dictator; He won’t force help on us. We have to ask for it. When God’s people intercede, God will intervene.

  

Have you ever had a feeling that you needed to pray for something or someone? What happened?

Several times, and I’m ashamed to say that I don’t always follow through, especially if it involves me going out of my comfort zone and laying hands or speaking directly to someone – I’m very much a private pray-er and I struggle to pray out loud or in a group setting. In church prayer meetings I freeze up if there seems to be an expectation for us to take our turn at praying out loud. I don’t know if I’m overwhelmed or intimidated by the more “spiritual” people who know all the fancy words and can pray long and loud prayers without even thinking, or maybe I still see myself as that young child sitting beside her mum, being offered a colouring book because “this is grown up stuff” and out of my league.

I used to attend the early morning Saturday prayer meeting at my church. 7am every Saturday. I enjoyed it because it was different than the Tuesday evening prayer meeting. There were only four or five of us and it was a very relaxed, almost meditative meeting where we were encouraged to spend time in quiet contemplation as much as spoken prayer.

We also had prayer and fasting weeks where the church would be open throughout the day for us to pop in and out and pray. Often there were “stations” set up around the sanctuary with prayer points for specific areas of need, within the church and community, and also further afield. I enjoyed these kinds of prayer events the most because I could go in, whenever I wanted to, and just go around the different zones in my own time and order, and just spend time seeking the Lord in each of the situations. It helped me to have those “headings” and suggested topics but still having the freedom to pray in my own way. I have several prayer journals from these kinds of days and, looking back on them, I find that I’m actually much more competent at praying than I give myself credit for – especially when I write them out.

I have always believed – and I still do – that prayer is such a personal thing. It’s my private conversation with my Father; the moments where I allow my mask to slip for a moment and I open myself up in complete vulnerability, crying out to my “Abba”. I never had a dad so I can’t say with any kind of authority, but I’d imagine that most girls talking with their dad would prefer not to broadcast their quiet, intimate conversations. That said, I do completely understand the need for and power in corporate and collective prayer and have been part of some larger scale prayer meetings which were very powerful.

 

“Prayer isn’t about trying to get God to say amen to what I want; prayer is about me saying amen to God’s will for my life”

 What would it look like for you to pray this week with this perspective?

It’s important for us to fully grasp the gravity of what we are doing when we pray. So often have I corrected myself from praying too formally, that I fear I may have overcorrected and gone slightly too far the other way. We must constantly remind ourselves of the greatness of our Almighty Father, and this can be done easily by the act of beginning our prayers with a time of worship and adoration, as discussed in previous sessions. In professing His indescribable greatness, His might, His majesty, His mercy, His all-consuming love, and all the wonderful virtues that He alone possesses, we come to His throne in complete awe, and honour Him with our minds as well as our spirits. Only then can we fully grasp the enormous privilege that we have been granted in being able to approach the King of the Universe directly and offer up our prayers of petition and intercession. At this point, when we are fully aware of just how awesome our God is, we can do nothing else but submit to His will. We would be foolish to think that our own worldly desires could stand a chance next to His! Here we are in the perfect place to wholly submit, prostrate at His feet, and say with absolute fervency, “Your will be done!” And that’s the place where God will pick us up and work with us.

When we pray “Let Your will be done” we are interceding. We are opening ourselves up as obedient servants and willing participants. We aren’t saying that we will do anything in our own strength, or that our desires are more important, we are simply providing a landing pad for God’s will to be done in our lives or situations.

This week my grandad has gone into a care home full-time. This man has been my rock. The only father I ever knew for the whole of my childhood and adolescence. His health has declined drastically and my family are heartbroken but I have found a peace in praying, “Lord, let Your will be done” and a comfort in trusting that He knows best. “For I know the plans that I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”” (Jeremiah 29:11)

There is a strength that comes from those words, “Your will be done”, that I never truly appreciated until recently.