Poem - Help Me

Help Me

Help me

I try to better myself

To be like You

Like You want me.

I try to be a new creation

But I struggle.

 Help me

I stir in my sleep

My dreams littered with images

Of the “me” I should be

The one I am to become

But there’s a roadblock

And I don’t know the way

I don’t know how to get there

So I am stuck

In this parallel universe

Where I am just me

Living without Your guidance.

 Help me

I can’t concentrate

My motivation is a snail

Slow and hiding.

I long to be Your princess

Instead, I am the pauper

Begging You on the streets of my life.

Help me

Mould me into the vessel You will use

To carry Your message.

Mould me, shape me, use me

Help me

Without You I am nothing

My flesh will die

Disintegrate into the earth.

If You don’t want my soul

It will burn for Eternity

In the fiery pits

 Help me, Lord

Take me in Your arms

And help me.

From kristenzuray.files.wordpress.com

Copyright - Lisa Davies, December  17th, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

Welcome to Church!

My friend drove me to church on Sunday - I was so grateful after missing my bus last week and having a bit of a meltdown - and we discussed a lot of things. I confided in her that as much as I love our church and feel that it's where I'm supposed to be at the moment, I do struggle with a few things. One of the things I mentioned was the welcoming, social, and general unfriendliness of some of our congregation. 

Now don't get me wrong here, I'm not having a church-bashing post. That's not my intention at all, but I thought it was relevant to discuss where this topic started from. 

She thought I was sitting alone as she didn't see my other friend, and invited me to join her and her other friends who are all a similar age to me. I thanked her and told her that I had sat amongst those other friends before and nobody spoke to me. Apparently this is a common occurrence in our church and my other friend had been so upset at one point, thinking we were all ignorant, that she didn't want to come back but felt drawn to the place.

As I said, we were discussing the situation and we decided to try to create a bit of a befriending group. Obviously we need to pray over it and make sure that it's the right thing to do - we're not just going to jump right into something like that!

If we still feel compelled to push forward with this, our ideas include simple things like just meeting for a coffee, going bowling and general socialising. 

Due to my not being able to drive at the moment, I feel that I can't participate in a lot of the social events as I live a fair distance away. I'm also at that strange age where I don't fit in with the youths or the older generation. The people my own age are either still amongst the youths, as they've always been there or just have close friendships or relationships there, otherwise they're just not very approachable. 

I've joked in the past that pretty much everyone is related in our church. That, or they've known each other forever. It seems a little cliquey at times and that if your face (or surname) doesn't fit, neither do you! I'd be interested to know if most churches are like this?

I absolutely love my church and when I'm there I look around and genuinely love the people as if they were my family. It's difficult because at the Baptist Church where I grew up, it was small and everyone was my "Auntie". As I've said before, I walked in the door and felt truly loved and cared for. I think that's special and I was so blessed to have had that. The sad fact is, not everywhere is the same. Or maybe it is but I was just on the opposite side there? Hmm, that's food for thought.

Anyway, I pray that we can bring that that welcoming spirit back into our churches and that pastoral care becomes just as important as was intended. In John 21:15-17, Jesus explicitly asked Peter to look after His sheep. He cared so much about this that He asked three times. How can we declare the love of Christ, and expect to see revival and thousands of souls saved, if we don't show it amongst ourselves first?

Just a little food for thought

- Lisa

Only the Blood

I've been working on this drawing for a few days - it's not that it's been difficult to do, I just got halfway and didn't get chance to finish. I also struggled with how to do the blood covering without being to garish.

Basically, I was reading about the Blood and I thought, "it's so simple!" We try everything in our power to rid ourselves of the things which make us unclean; the things which separate us from God, but in truth, nothing can remove them other than the Blood itself.

I figured it would make a good picture like my last one, in the style of a comic book. Please note, this one wasn't a dream or anything, I was just reading and I thought it would be good to visualise it.

I scanned this one into my computer, rather than taking a photograph as I did with the previous one. I thought it would make it better quality but it's kind of washed the colours out a little. The background is supposed to be green, not white. If you tilt your screen back a little, you might see it better, but to be honest, it doesn't matter at all!

As I said with the last drawing I shared, I'm not claiming to be any kind of artist - I don't even have a GCSE in art; my teacher told me not to bother! - but if it blesses anyone, it's worth the ridicule :)


-Lisa

Call It Out By Name

First things first, apologies for the delay in posting a new message - I've got so many things I want to share that I've fallen into some kind of writer's block, not knowing where or which message to start with!

In some of my recent posts I've talked about my living in faith and avoiding medications - refusing to even acknowledge the problem in the physical sense, just believing that it's been healed in the spiritual and waiting in expectation for it to manifest in the flesh.

I fear that some may take this too literally. As much as I pray that these posts bless and encourage each and every reader, they are based upon my own personal situation - I am in no way qualified to discuss anything else! With this in mind, I feel that I should state that the reason I am able to treat my conditions in the way I am is because I know them. I have conducted research and discussed it more times that I can count with doctors, dermatologists and other professionals in the field.

I think this is where the secret lies. In order to draw something out, we need to know what it is. When you've been bitten by a venomous snake, the doctor needs to know which kind of snake it was before he can treat it with the appropriate anti-venom.

It's perfectly acceptable to see a doctor for a diagnosis. If you look in the Bible, most people came to Jesus already knowing what the problem was, and when they didn't know, they told Him the symptoms. He, as the Great Physician Himself, was able to diagnose, through discernment of spirits, where the problems lay.

Jesus first had to name the issue and then He could call it out by its name.  He named the spirits and called them out, rebuking and rejecting them in His name. He commisioned the Disciples to do this very thing, telling them that they were to call out evil spirits; binding spirits; unhealthy spirits and rebuke and reject them in the name of the Most High God.

We can do this. Yes, even today, even you. You can call out those spirits of ill-health and reject them, but you need to know what they are first.

We need to get angry with the enemy; with the evil spirits he is using as weapons against us. We can't just allow him to defeat us. We can't let him get under our skin and make us feel powerless. We can't beg and plead with him, or with those ailments or situations which bind us.

We must take control. Jesus has told us that we can use His name and rebuke them! We have been given the right to use the mightiest name in the universe and reject that which holds us captive.

Learn about your situation and call it out by its name. find its weakness and use the most deadly weapon available, the name of Jesus!

Rebuke and reject!
- Lisa

Poem - My God

My God

My God is a faithful God

He’s patient, merciful, kind and warm

He loves me even though I’ve sinned

He gave me salvation when I was unworthy

He’s my Redeemer, my Comforter, my Lord, my King

I long for the day I can call Him my best friend

 He is selfless. He is graceful. He is truly awesome

I Love Him!

He’s more faithful than a Labrador;

More loving than a parent

More understanding than a Samaritan

More knowledgeable than a professor

My God is God; the one and only

The Alpha and Omega; the beginning and the end

He is everything.

 He is mightier than a warrior

He’s quicker than a fox

He’s smaller than an atom

Yet bigger than the earth

He is who He is

The great I AM

The creator, the potter, the Father of all

And I am His child

Royalty.

Copyright - Lisa Davies, October 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

Eyes on the Prize

I've been thinking a lot recently about healing (as I'm sure you can tell!) but really, this can fit into any situation, whether it's healing you're seeking or anything else for that matter.

When I look at my situation - my skin, in this example - and I see that it hasn't changed; it doesn't seem to be healed, instead of becoming frustrated and upset, I smile and praise God! It sounds odd, and to be honest, it feels odd at the moment, but we must start to see the situation as God sees it. He's already imparted that wisdom; healing; or change, so in His eyes, it's already been done. He's just waiting for us to accept it.

As much as I think I've accepted this gift, when I look at or feel my skin, it's pretty obvious that some part of me hasn't yet. This leads me to ponder the reason why...

When we declare that the situation still has that hold over us; when I state that I'm "allergic",  "have eczema" or simply "have crappy skin", that's me declaring that the enemy is in control. He is not! As soon as I apply my creams, or make a decision not to touch something in fear of what it will do to my skin, I'm allowing the enemy to dictate and rule in my life. Each time I look at the list of allergies in my purse, which I have personalised and owned (I made it into a double-sided card in my favourite colours, laminated and claimed it - "Lisa's Skin Allergies") I allow the enemy to tighten his grip and lead me farther away from the gift that the Lord has promised.

I see it as a tunnel; you know how when people are dying, they say that they feel like they're walking in a long, dark tunnel and they just have to make it to the light? That's how I imagine it. My road to healing is a tunnel with many doors and exits leading off it. The enemy opens a door and hands me a cream or lotion. It would be so easy to take the bait and step away from the tunnel of faith. We must keep our eyes fixed on that light at the end of the tunnel - keep our eyes on Jesus.

The Temptation of Christ by armusik

Satan will always try to tempt us; look at what He did with Jesus in the desert [read Matthew 4:1-11; Mark 1:12-13; Luke 4:1-13] We are no better than Jesus; we are no where near as holy as He; what makes us think that the enemy will try to tempt us any less? Will you allow yourself to be tempted away from that which you have a right to? Remember though, how Jesus overcame the enemy - He stood on the Word and proclaimed the Truth. There is nothing the enemy can do to counter that attack! We have this devastating arsenal to use against him; why do we allow him to continue?! However, we need to know the Word before we can use it - that's a nudge to myself more than anything - we need to read and be familiar with the Bible!

As the hymn says, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face" - today I say to you, "Look full at His mangled face" and remember that He's already paid the price for you. When He was being tortured and ridiculed; when He was being beaten and the soldier was grinning in anticipation of hammering those nails into his beautiful skin; when He was dying and looked out upon His followers (few though there were) it was you He saw. Remember, He comes from a place where there is no time; when He saw the disciples, you were there amongst them (I hope I would have been amongst the disciples and not amongst the soldiers).

As He was enduring this horrific trial, when He took His final breath, He thought, "I'm doing this for Lisa; I'm doing this for..." He named each one of us. He knew our situations and He paid the price to wash them away.

When I look at my hands; when the pain feels unbearable; when they're so uncomfortable I feel that I can't go on - that's when I remember to keep my eyes on Jesus. I remember to thank Him, for He is working within me. I thank Him for giving me the strength and the healing, in faith that I will receive it.

Will you keep walking that tunnel, with your eyes never leaving Jesus' face? Or will you give in and take the easy way out? Will the pain or difficulty get to be too much for you or will you remember the pain that Jesus endured for you? Do you have the strength to follow that tunnel of faith, right to the end; right into the waiting arms of our beloved Jesus?

Just something to think about
-Lisa

Poem - Cup of Suffering

Cup of Suffering

Jesus,

What did you come here for?

Why did you agree?

You came to our earth

From Your Heavenly home

A destiny like no other

You were born to be killed.

You were given a human form

A human mind

A human heart

And all along you knew what was coming

You knew that you were on this earth

To do your job

Your job to Your Almighty Father

Your job to us, Your adoring servants.

You knew Your death was upon you

You knew the time was near

And yet You never stopped your teaching

Your praising

Your forgiving.

You forgave those who murdered you

They killed You in cold blood

And yet You held them up

To the Father of all things

You held them up in Your blood soaked hands

And pleaded with Almighty God for their forgiveness

You begged Him to show them His mercy.

 You called upon Your Father

And accepted Your fate.

In order for scriptures to be fulfilled

You knew You must drink Your cup of suffering

And You did

Lord Jesus, You did

You took the bitter cup of death for me.

And as you took your final breath

You proclaimed that “It Is Finished”

You died upon that wooden post

Your pain unimaginable

You could have made it stop at any time

But you didn’t

You just accepted it.

And You died

Sovereign Lord, You died on the cross

Your heart stopped its rhythmic beating

And Your lungs deflated.

You were stabbed and taken down from your cross of shame

You were swathed in bandages and buried.

Your mourners gathered at Your tomb

And grieved for their loss

Little did they know where You were.

 Jesus, my Lord, You were alive

You were resurrected after three days.

Three days of a still heart

And empty lungs

And yet you stood up and walked.

Precious Jesus, You came back to life

The greatest miracle of them all!

Copyright - Lisa Davies, April 2^nd, 2009.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

Revival Reunion

This message has been sitting here since Saturday night. I'm really sorry - there's just been one thing after another and I've not been able to get it finished.

I was watching the Bay of the Holy Spirit Revival: Reunion last night after work (I had recorded/Sky+ it on GOD TV) and I have to be totally honest with you, I wasn't exactly sure what I was watching. I'd been looking forward to the reunion (although I don't really like the use of that word - makes me think it's more about the people than anything else) for a couple of weeks and when it started, I struggled to get into the worship. Lindell Cooley was leading, and although I love him and think he's a great worshipper, for some reason I tend to respond more to female vocals. I think it also made a difference because I didn't know the first couple of songs very well. Lydia Stanly Marrow's voice and style of worship really hits me and I listen to her albums on a loop pretty much every day!

I'm glad I stuck it out, because the worship got better, in fact, I really enjoyed it. Pastor John Kilpatrick came out and spoke a little, and even though I've never actually met the man, I feel a connection to him. I love him like I love my own pastor - if I were ever to meet him, I think I'd just start chatting as if I'd known him forever! It may have something to do with the fact that our churches have become quite connected over the past couple of years.

Anyway, it seemed to cut fairly large chunks out of the meeting, I wasn't watching it live so they might have had to edit it or something. That was disappointing. Pastor Steve Hill then came out and started sharing. I'm not going to lie to you. I was confused. Although I think he had a relevant point to make, it seemed that it was more of a very long advertisement for his book. Don't get me wrong, the book sounds great and I'm definitely going to order it, but it just seemed quite strange to me, I don't know why.

He was talking about death and corpses, and I got his point, I really did, but it seemed that he was struggling to make it. The one part that I wanted to pick out of his message though, is this...

He had his assistant read a message from the pastor of a large church in the area. The pastor was saying a bunch of things, stating that "if you're not having fun, it's probably not God" - or something to that effect.**

I'm here to tell you, friends, that God doesn't care if you're having fun or not! That's not the aim of church. It's not the reason we go. Sure, we might enjoy our time there but it's not about us or what we can get from it. Sometimes it can feel like a sacrifice to go to church, and that's when we need to make sure we're going all the more, and praising through whatever is going on in our lives!

Do you think Jesus was having fun when He was here? When He was tried in the desert for 40 days? When He was run out of towns and villages? When His very best friends rejected and betrayed Him? How about when He was beaten and tortured, or nailed to that cross left to die an excruciating death?

I very much doubt it! Does that mean that it wasn't of God? No! Sometimes God asks us to do things which aren't fun - sometimes they're downright horrible - but we have to have faith that He knows best.

I can't believe that people are spouting this teaching, possibly to desperate, young, vulnerable or "baby Christians". If I had received that message, I have to say that I hope and pray that I would be bold enough to ask, "Where is this backed up in the Word? Where's your scriptural basis?" - In truth, I'm not confident that I would. We trust our pastors; we expect their words and messages to be anointed and true. I can't help but think that this is a desperate abuse of the position.

-Lisa

**Please be aware that I'm not attributing this to Pastor Steve Hill, I genuinely don't know who said it. Steve merely brought it into the light and he himself stated that it was wrongful, false teaching.

Our Christian Duty

I've had a few things on my mind over the past few days and I so wanted to share them with you all but unfortunately I'd succumbed to a painful wrist again and no matter how many times I pray over it; rest it; strap it up; it keeps returning. I guess that's another thing I need to have more faith about (chalking that one up on the already huge list!)

One thing I wanted to share is that I've finally received my copy of The Adventures of a Chicken Evangelist: 40 Days of Evangelism: Can a Chicken Overcome His Fears?: by Steve L. Nelson. You may know that I bought it for my Mum a couple of weeks ago, as she had been given the calling of Evangelist around 20 years ago but never really did anything with it. When her book arrived I thought it looked interesting and I kind of wanted to keep it for myself!

Obviously I resisted the temptation and gave it to my Mum, inscribing Philippians 1:6 in the front cover, "He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ".

Even though I haven't been given the calling of Evangelist, I believe that it is our duty as Christians to evangelise anyway; to share the Good News with everyone we see! For me personally, I see it more as a fruit of the Spirit, rather than a particular gifting or calling. This is why I thought the book would be useful. I don't think the author has the calling of "Evangelist", in fact I think he's a pastor but he is embarrassingly scared of sharing the Gospel with strangers. This is very important to me. If a pastor can admit that he is scared and struggles with that which we have been commissioned to do by our Lord Jesus Himself, it makes me feel a little better that I'm not living up to the expectation either.

I'm not finished with the book yet, I'm only around halfway through, and I have to admit that it took me a while to get into it. Some things I wasn't sure about, but I'm glad I'm reading it.

It made me think, though, that it's not necessarily about what our title is or our qualifications are. It's more about what the Lord puts on our hearts; that's what's important. It reminded me of an incident which happened to me recently. I was on our church's Facebook page and our Pastor's wife was sharing some of the wonderful photographs from their work in Honduras. She referred to herself as a Pastor as well as her husband. I, in my infallible wisdom (note the sarcasm there!) said something along the lines of "I didn't know you were a pastor, too". I foolishly thought that one had to be educated and have some kind of theological qualification in order to be a pastor or minister (please don't misunderstand; I'm not saying she isn't educated - she was a nurse and Ward Sister for many years - very intelligent and highly educated - I simply meant "educated" in pastoring specifically)

She asked me what I thought she had been doing all these years and that she and her husband were a pastoring couple. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was so embarrassed! I'd never even thought about it!

Who are we to say that a Spirit-filled Christian can't do the Holy Spirit's work unless they have a specific title or qualification? How dare we attempt to limit the work of our omnipotent God?

Why would we need a qualification in order to do that which Jesus commanded and expected of all of us? He wouldn't expect it if there was even a slight possibility of it being inaccessible to anyone.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations"  

Matthew 28:19

Surely gaining a qualification or master's degree is nothing in comparison to gaining the Master's education!

Our textbook is the Bible; our teachers, Jesus and the Holy Spirit; and our wise scholars of old, who we hold to highest esteem and quote/reference abundantly in our essays, they're Moses, Abraham, David, etc! It's just the same, when you think about it! The degree of the Holy Spirit is just as, if not more, important than any earthly qualification we can earn!

In John 21:15-17 Jesus commissions Peter to "feed my lambs", "take care of my sheep", and "feed my sheep" three times. If this isn't enough of a push into sharing the Gospel of love and grace, what is?

Poem - Cracked

This is not a poem I usually categorise with my Christian poetry. I've been writing for years, since I was a young teenager, and my poems are generally like my journals - they allowed me to release my emotions and work through my thoughts.


I thought it was worth sharing this poem, although it doesn't seem very promising on the outset, it shows my belief about my condition; the fact that I was so attached to it and it was as synonymous with me as my own name. As John Kilpatrick said in his Prophetic Message, "your mind has already accepted that this is the way it's always going to be, but it's not!"

As I've shared the vision I had, and now I've shared the drawing I made of it, I thought I could share exactly where I need the healing. How deep this thing, this evil spirit of bondage, is rooted within me.You might also want to have a look at this post.

Cracked

 

For such a long time I have been chained

Bound and locked into a future without hope

A belief that there is nothing waiting for me

Other than a lifetime of pain and sorrow

Embarrassment and shame.

I have been brainwashed into thinking

That who I am is defined by

The medical conditions I have

That I must resign myself

To the fact that I am to be

A disgusting, ugly girl

For the rest of my life.

My skin, like that of a lizard; a wizened old woman

The dry, cracked land of an infertile, dehydrated world.

I accept that I will never be pretty

My skin will never be soft or smooth

I am used to it now

The majority of my life has been filled with this pain.

Physical, mental and emotional.

The envy, as a child, when my peers

Had their faces painted.

As a teenager,

longing for perfumes and bubble baths.

As a young adult, desperate to be normal

Smell nice; look nice.

No matter what, this is me

I can accept it, though I do not like it

That I will never be normal

My skin will never heal

The damage has already been done

Irreversible.

Even if there was a miracle cure

I can’t be sure I’d take it

I’d rather suffer excruciating pain

Frustratingly deep itches

Bed clothes covered in blood

Than to lose who I am

To lose the one thing

That defines me.

Without this condition

This ugly condition

I don’t know who I am.

I can’t imagine skin

As soft as butter

As clear as crystal

I am afraid

Afraid that I won’t be me anymore

If I don’t have the one thing

That has always been there

The very thing that is

Synonymous with my name.

I don’t like it

The pain it brings

The action of hiding my hands

From others

But it is me

I can’t change it

Can I?

Copyright - Lisa Davies, December 17th, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)