Poem - Send Your Spirit

Just after I felt pulled to pray for revival in England (read about it here) I wrote this poem. To be honest, I wrote a lot of poems on this day - I think the Lord was really working in me!


Send Your Spirit

Father God I long for Your Spirit to touch the world.

I long for You to meet with us,

Your loyal, yet unworthy servants.

I long for a touch of You to fall upon the nations

Like a rainfall over all the earth.

Send Your Spirit down.

Keep our faith renewed

And never allow us to stop seeking You.

 Holy One, I beg You

To send Revival to Your people

Lord, in Your perfect timing, speak to every person

Of Your beautiful creation

Allow them to know that You are real

Show Yourself to them in a personal way;

A way they cannot ignore

 Speak to each and every one, Father God

And allow them to make their choice to follow You.

Reveal Your Spirit so they cannot deny the Truth.

 Lord God, meet with us

We long for You

We long for Your touch

Lord, we long for our churches to be spilling over

Out onto the streets

Father God,

Send Revival

 And watch as millions return to You

Watch as millions open their hearts to receive You

Holy One send down Your Fire

Fill our hearts so that we can touch the hearts of others

Send Your Spirit Lord

Send Your Spirit and watch.

Copyright - Lisa Davies, November 8th, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

Spiritual Journal

As I was grabbing Riki's Bible this morning (if you recall, I got a free ESV and he liked it so now it's his - I'm praying for the day he wants to read it, although he did want to find me the scripture today, progress!!) I noticed my journal - it was a gift when I was baptised and I always thought it too pretty to write in but I started taking notes of spiritual events, such as being baptised in the Holy Spirit, speaking in tongues, and any particular visions, dreams or prayers I've felt compelled to pray.

From dayspring.com

Anyway, I was writing up the prophecy I received yesterday (here) and I flicked back through the very few pages I've filled. It seems that there is something of a confirmation, even in those four or five short pages.

Back in October 2010 (I hadn't written in it since then) I wrote that I was praying with two wonderful ladies from church, I love them dearly and we were in the Alpha group together - one of them is the lovely Auntie Joan who was my Sunday school teacher right from being a tiny toddler. I went up to chat to them before the meeting andthey prayed with me as I had convinced myself the enemy had convinced me that my gift of tongues was merely made up jibberish and that in praying with them, masquerading them as a heavenly language, I was offending God. Joan and Susan prayed with me and as we were praying, I felt myself at first stooped over but then straightening up until I was really tall and towering over everyone.

Obviously, I don't think that was a Joseph moment where everyone's stars were bowing down to me. To be honest it was an odd sensation and something I'd never experienced before, so I made a note of it.

The next night I was in the shower and I felt the Lord saying "I will raise you up". Again, as I've said before on numerous occasions, I was concerned that this was just me. I noted it down just in case but also wrote beside it that I recall something about God saying, "I will raise up men and women of excellence" - I could never find a scripture to back it up, though.

That same night, I felt a pull to pray for revival in England. Our church have been praying and desperately seeking revival in the Dearne Valley (the area we live in). I felt awful that I wasn't praying the same prayer but my heart was on our nation.

I've quite often prayed and sat in sorrow at the state of England. We are a Christian nation but prayer has been taken out of our schools. In fact, Jesus has been taken out of our schools. No longer do we have Christmas concerts and Nativity plays; we have "winter festivals" in fear of offending someone or other. I remember standing behind our chairs in the dining hall at Primary chool, not being allowed to sit until we, collectively as a school had said grace:

From thecrowcottage.com

"Thank You for the world so sweet

Thank You for the food we eat

Thank You for the birds that sing

Thank You, God, for everything

Amen"

I'm only 24 years old - this is less than 15 years ago - it's amazing how much things can change in such a short time!

I always said that as much as I'd love to be a teacher (see this post) - it's something I keep returning to, regardless of how many times I get set back - I can't work in a place where I can't share the love of God, instead having to teach about Diwali and Ramadan and throwing Halloween parties. I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd love to work in a Christian school (I fell in love with Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry when I discovered it) but alas, I live in England and we have a distinct lack of these schools over here! If it is in God's will for me to be in that kind of place, I know He'll pave the way for me.

I forget what my point was - the soapbox is firmly away for now! - but really, a journal is a great idea because it helps to see correlations and when we think there's no confirmation of a particular idea or desire, they might just show that there is.

Don't let the enemy get into your head and confuse and condemn you. In Christ Jesus there is no condemnation! If you have desires that surpass your own strengths and expectations - chances are, they're from God, and He delights in sharing them with you. Ask Him for confirmation, by all means - Gideon put out fleeces for God (Judges 6:37-40) and he went down as being one of the "heroes of the faith" (Hebrews 11:32) but when you receive that confirmation, accept it and start running toward it!

Be blessed, and excited!
-Lisa

Altar Calls and Prophesies

I had an amazing morning at church today. Not because the worship was great (which it was) or because the guest pastor was great (which he was) but because the Lord turned up.

I'm not going to lie, I've had something of a dry season, spiritually. It's not for lack of desire, I don't think. I don't know why it is. I think on the one hand, I don't answer the altar call in fear of people thinking, "She goes up every week" - I used to go up for every single altar call, just desperate for another touch. I don't know what happened, somewhere down the line I lost my boldness, my confidence.

From wayofthepastor.blogspot.co.uk

Another thought running through my mind is, "What if the preacher has someone specific in mind and I just run up there?" I don't want to take someone else's place - I know that God has plenty of provisions, but my answering an altar call might make someone else think, "Oh, maybe it's not for me after all".

When I did go up for prayer, some part of me was still on edge and I haven't really felt a proper touch of the Spirit for such a long time. 

This morning, though, I did answer the call. The message was about condemnation and how in Christ Jesus, there is none, but the enemy will continue to condemn us. There were several altar calls and the Lord spoke twice; the first time to tell us that He loves us and there is no condemnation, and the second time to say, "You still don't get it, do you?!"

As I was standing there at the front, eyes closed and totally surrendering myself to the Lord, not even daring to speak, just saturating myself in His glory, I felt myself starting to shake. I felt such a powerful touch of the Spirit, something I haven't felt in a long time. Adrian, the visiting Pastor, prayed over me and gave me what I believe to be a prophesy (I think you all know by now, I'm still fairly confused and very cautious of claiming things without confirmation).

He gave me Nehemiah 3 and went on to say something along the lines of: 

"You used to look for other people to lift up your arms. You're 

going to be that person for others. You will see souls brought 

to salvation. You'll heal the sick. You'll lift up the arms of 

others and lead them. No longer will you look for 

others to carry you; you'll carry them." 

The Sheep Gate. Background image from baptistjerusalem.com

I came out of church feeling amazing, but confused. Had I just received my calling? But there wasn't a word or title. As I said before, my Mum was given just the word, "Evangelist" - I assumed that's what it would be like. It seemed today, though, that I had been told what to do, but not who I am or what to call myself. 

It might not have been my calling; it may have just been a broad, general prophesy. I read the scripture he gave me and it confused me even more! It talks about walls being built and repaired. It seems to be some kind of metaphor but if I'm being totally honest, I'm just as confused as ever. I wanted to chat to him after the meeting but I was conscious my mum was waiting outside for me (I had to take her to get her new contact lenses).

So again, I come to you, my wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, and ask if any of this means anything to you? Can you shed any light on this for me or is it more of a personal thing, which I'm just going to have to meditate on? We all know that I struggle to hear God's voice, and I'm so grateful that He spoke to me, by proxy, today - in a way that I could acknowledge, even if I couldn't fully understand it!

-Lisa

Conversation is a Two-Way Street

Last night I retired to the shower, my favourite praying place, to speak to God.

Well, actually, when I said "speak to God", what I meant was I wanted to be in His presence and wanted to wait upon Him, to give Him chance to speak to me. I don't know if I'm not receptive enough yet or something, because I didn't hear anything.

I had heard at church in the morning that we must actually converse with God - not just talk to and at Him, but allow Him to respond and speak to us.

In order to attempt to do this, I left my iPod in the bedroom - I almost always have music in the shower - and just tried to be quiet and still, which is difficult when you're trying to wash your hair (maybe that's a point for next time; I won't try to do this in the shower when I actually do need to shower!) So I was standing there in the shower cubicle and I tried so hard to just shut my mouth and empty my mind. It wasn't working so I prayed a little.

I don't know why I have such trouble emptying my mind and relaxing, but I do. I tried standing in the stillness again and nothing. I closed my eyes, thinking, "maybe He speaks to me through images or visions" - still nothing. I'm not sure how long I'm supposed to wait like that. Probably until something comes, but as I may have said before in another post, I have a very active imagination and as soon as I started thinking about the kind of things God might show or tell me, my brain whipped up the images instantly and left me confused - did I create this or was it God? I'm pretty sure it was me because there was a whole thought process behind it.

I got out of the shower and there was a flyer on the floor in my bedroom - it was something I'd picked up a couple of months earlier in a "maybe this is my calling" moment. I asked the Lord if this was His doing or was it purely coincidence that it had fallen to my feet after I'd forgotten all about it? I guess I put out a lot of fleeces in fear of wanting something so much that I make myself believe God has said it.

http://markeverett.blogspot.co.uk

So I'm still working on being still in the presence. Unfortunately I'm also still very quick to feel upset and say, "God never speaks to me, or if He does, I don't know how to hear Him", and that's simply not true. God has spoken to me on numerous occasions. That small voice in the depth of my soul - some people may call it a gut instinct - I believe that was God prompting me. He prompted me to move out of a relationship which was hindering my progress in Him; He prompted me to return to church; to be baptised and to seek further infilling and knowledge.

So maybe God doesn't speak audibly to me, or maybe I'm just not at that stage yet where I can discern His voice. Or maybe I am but I'm just not allowing it to get through to me. I don't know, but He definitely does speak to me, and I'll bet He speaks to all of you, too. If you're at that stage where you're about to give in and say, "He never speaks to me; why doesn't He want to speak to me?" Just take a step back and think:

• How did you come to know Him if He didn't prompt you?
• How have you progressed in your faith?
• How have you made those big decisions (if any) without Him?
• How can you tell what's right from what's wrong?

and lastly,

• Have you given Him the chance?

Remember, His voice won't necessaily be a booming thunder. He often works through the Holy Spirit, who will kindle your own spirit and align it with that of the Lord. That still, small voice in the back of your mind or in your gut; your inner conscience; your yearnings and desires - have you thought that they could be signals from God, manifested in a way that you're capable of acknowledging?

http://spendomai.com

I'm going to make more of an effort to hear from God. I'm going to give Him the chance to speak to and respond to me in prayer. I'm going to find a quiet place and get my face on the floor, submitting all to God, and cry out to Him.

I think that this is what our generation is missing. We think we can get by with being christened as an infant; attending church for weddings, christenings and funerals; acknowledging that there "might be" a God and occasionally, praying to Him when we want or need something.

God doesn't work like that. He's not a 'take-it-or-leave-it' God; He's a living, loving, Master who longs to know and spend time with us; who longs to impart knowledge and wisdom into our lives. Why won't we let Him?

Remember, prayer isn't speaking to God; it's conversing with Him.

-Lisa

Spend the Day Praying

Hi all!

I hope you don't mind me making a personal post today? I guess they're all pretty personal anyway - it wouldn't be much good me writing about anyone else, would it?!

So I passed my driving theory test! I'm halfway there and now I just have to pass the practical test before I'm a fully licensed driver, it's about time!

Back on March 1st, when I booked my tickets to the Days of Wonder event (also here and mentioned in this post) in Hull, I decided that I would need to pass my driving test in order to get there. It's just not financially feasible for me at the moment to stay in a hotel for the three days, and if I were to get a train there and back every day I'd need to leave early to catch the last train. My family aren't interested in coming so I don't have a lift with them, the only option was to trust in God and get my driving test passed so that I can drive myself.

Now, a wonderful friend from church has offered me a lift, so it would be so easy to sit back and relieve some of the pressure but I have faith in a mighty God and I believe I'll be able to drive by then, if I just push through.

I haven't sat a test or exam since my A Levels, back in 2007 - my degree was all coursework based so I was a little out of practice and, to be honest, quite nervous! I have to admit, I've never been into revision, even at school and sixth form I managed to coast along without putting in much effort (note: I'm not saying this is a good thing - I could have achieved much higher results if I'd tried!) Last night, though, I got a bit nervous and decided to revise a little. It didn't help much; the only way I could see to bring myself back into peace was to pray over it.

I took myself off to the shower to pray, came back to do some more revision and prayed some more. I prayed as I was dropping off to sleep and woke up this morning, praying again. I prayed all the way to my appointment and then as I sat at the computer, ready to take my test, I prayed again. I was so at peace because I knew that God had already pre-determined the course and the outcome. He knew which questions would come up and if I passed, it would be because it was in His Will. I was able to fully submit to the Lord and be able to say "Your will be done", and be at peace with whatever happened. Even so, at every single question, I prayed - either to ask for the Lord's guidance or to thank Him because I knew the answer from my practice tests.

When the test finished, I collected my belongings from my locker and handed back the key. The gentleman then gave me my results: an A4 sheet of paper, folded in half with some kind of booklet inside. I was too scared to look! I went right away to the toilets and prayed over it. Again, I said thank you to the Lord for the experience and for being with me. I accepted that whatever the outcome, it was His will and I would acknowledge and respect it.

I didn't look until I'd met back up with Riki, and here's what I found (I wasn't sure if I should publicise personal things like driving licence number etc, so I just blacked it out)

I thanked the Lord and have been praying prayers of thanksgiving all day. I'm so in awe of the Lord and what He can and will do, if only we'd let Him! There's no way I'd have done this in my own strength and by my own knowledge.

I know that for some people, passing their theory test is not a big deal at all, and it wouldn't have been for me, except that I had so much riding on it. I can't afford to fail if I'm going to be driving to Hull, alone on the motorway, in less than two months!

Now, I've just got to get a little more driving practice and pass the practical part of the test. The law says I have two years, but my heart tells me I have less than two months. There's no earthly way at all that this is possible, but I will pass my test and to God be the glory!

So really, I've had a kind of day of prayer, and I've had such a wonderful day. I'm going to make an effort to spend the day praying more often!

Selfish Prayers

Today, I've had an epiphany.

I was thinking (again) about how desperate I am for Riki to be saved, and as I was praying (again) for the Lord to continue the work He's doing in him, leading him to Jesus, I suddenly realised,

The reason I want him to be saved is for me!

How selfish of me. I mean, obviously, I want him to be saved because I love him and I want our marriage and family to be strengthened and rooted in Biblical love and truths. I want him to pray with me before our wedding ceremony; to ask for our friends to pray over us. I want our children to look at us and see a solid couple, in agreement with each other and the Word.  I don't want to be inviting our kids to church with me on a Sunday, to hear them reply, "Well, can't I stay home with Dad and watch football?" It would truly devastate me.

StyleMePretty.com

I want him to be saved because I want to live in peace, in the knowledge that if anything were to happen to him, or me for that matter, I wouldn't have to worry for his soul, because the Lord would already hold it and keep it safe.

I long for him to pray with me and I'm jealous of my friends at church, when they're feeling resentment towards their husbands because they're getting a stronger touch of the Spirit and are on their way to learning God's will for their lives, and the wives are complaining (lovingly, but just exasperated) and I'm inwardly sobbing because I'd give anything to have that problem! I'd give anything for my man to be so caught up in Jesus that I come second to him.


I never thought I'd see the day when I'd say that I want to come second to anything in my husband's life, but I truly would love nothing more than to know that he loves God more than me, and that he prays for and with me and over our children.


So you see, my intentions are there. I want him to be saved and to know the love of God but have you noticed, it's all about me, me, me! "I want this"; "I'd love that", surely that's not the right reason to pray for something. I know it's in God's will for Riki to be saved; it's in God's will for anyone and everyone to be saved, and the amount of prayers I've prayed and (I'm ashamed to say) tests I've tested, have shown me that He wouldn't have brought us together if He had no intention of bringing him to Salvation.

So, as I said, my intentions are there but really, the reason I should be so desperate to see him saved, should be for him. For him to feel the love of God for himself. For him to have eternal life. For him to feel that joy and peace that only the Holy Spirit can bring. For him to have a purpose in his life. For his soul to be saved and preserved, for all eternity.

As soon as I realised this, I took myself to the toilets at work and prayed, as fervently as possible for that moment, and I asked the Lord to forgive my selfishness; to reach out and show Riki what he is missing in his life; to help me to leave it alone - I don't need to keep trying to help.

I think I've had a breakthrough and I'm so excited for what this can mean, now that I'm praying the right prayers, for the right reasons, the Lord can work and answer them, in His own perfect timing, and in His own pre-ordained way.

- Lisa

Poem - Emptiness

This poem documents the start of my true Christian journey - not as a child who knew of God, but as an adult, after having been away from God and just returning to church, and feeling, for the first time, a touch of the Holy Spirit, stirring something within me. The confusion but amazing lightness I felt was difficult to capture in words but I tried.

Emptiness

I used to feel lonely; alone in the dark

I used to long for loving arms to envelop me in unparalleled warmth.

I used to sit for hours, covered in salty droplets from my glistening eyes

I could never have guessed what the emptiness was;
Where the hole inside my body had stemmed from.

One evening the tears flowed, betraying me
And the smile I relied on for so long to conceal myself.

These tears were different; wetter somehow,

Almost lighter and more refreshing.

 I sat in confusion, not knowing why they had appeared this time.

My nemesis; these tiny drops of water coming from within myself

Coming from a place that my smile couldn’t fool

Coming from, dare I say it, God Almighty?

But why would He be interested in me?

Why would He force these tears, these somewhat kinder tears,
Out of my young eyes?

Why, when I thought of Him was I somehow happier, more satiated?

Could He be what was missing from my life?

Could He really be the deep, intense yearning I feel within my chest and my stomach?

Is He reaching out His hand, asking me, His wayward daughter,

To take it and return home; another chance?

I already knew God. I knew Jesus; a great man – the son of God.

But He wanted me to know Him more.

He wanted me to truly know Him;
An intimate relationship with the One who created me

My Gepetto, my Father.

Only when I could understand, could gather my tiny little mind around Him wanting me as much as I needed Him, did I accept Him fully.

I could feel the tears draining from my body; could feel my soul expanding
My heart mending.

The void inside me filling.

Jesus Christ came into my life and now

I’m never alone.

Copyright - Lisa Davies, October 11^th, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

Poem - Look at Me

I thought I ought to just get these out there without making much of a fuss. If you're interested in it, feel free to read, but again, it's a non-Christian poem, written to describe that feeling of empitness (I have a fair amount of poems on similar topics to this but didn't really want to share them as they're not my Christian, prayer-type poems, but they still show my journey so maybe they're relevent, I don't know).

Look at Me

 When you look at me

Look into my eyes

Past the mask I wear in public

And really see me

Tell me, what is it that you see?

Is it the little girl, trapped inside

The body of a young woman?

Longing to get out so that she can

Experience all the things she missed out on

All those years ago.

Or do you see what I want you to see;

A strong, independent woman

Who never falters, never struggles.

Who cries only in the most extreme of circumstances.

The truth is, even I am unsure

Of which is the real me.

Some days I feel like the fragile little china doll,

Where even the smallest of provocations

Will shatter me into a thousand pieces

That can never be put back together.

A real life Humpty Dumpty.

Only very occasionally do I return

To the grown up world where the mask

Is glued firmly on and my emotions

Are locked up in the safe that is my heart.

Have you ever wondered, half-heartedly,

Why I enjoy walking in the rain?

Why I spend such a long time in the shower?

Nobody sees the tears when it’s raining.

Nobody hears the body-heaving sobs

Over the sound of the dripping water.

Copyright - Lisa Davies, July 21st, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)

 

Poem - Nobody

Another non-Christian poem in that I didn't write it after prayer or meditation and it's not very uplifting but after my last post, I thought I'd share it anyway, as it kind of describes the way I've been feeling lately, although it was written almost three years ago (I tend to go through these phases).

Nobody

Nobody understands.

Nobody even notices that my life is

Slowly spiralling into a downward pit

And it is impossible to swim back to the

Open air that was once my happiness.

Nobody looks at me deep enough

To see the emptiness in my eyes

Nobody listens closely enough

To hear the hollow sound

Radiating from my mouth.

It is only after my eyes deceive me

And allow the salty tears to escape from

Their prison of my eyes

Only then does anyone notice

And their tone is accusatory

“Are you crying?”

Before they demand to know a motive

Like a detective, questioning his convict

Incessantly delivering scenarios

For me to shake my head to

They don’t get it

They can’t accept my answer

When I tell them the truth

I simply don’t know.

Copyright - Lisa Davies, July 21st, 2010.

If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)