Some days I can be feeling really low. It can be a struggle to even get out of bed, let alone drag a brush through my hair or plaster on a smile. It feels like a chore to eat, to chat, and even to play with my children. I am not in the mood to read my Bible. I don’t want to watch TV. I don’t want to do anything other than retreat into my little bubble and just ride it out, alone.
On these days, if someone asked me to shower them with love and adoration, tell them all the reasons I think they’re wonderful, and truly give them every ounce of myself, I think I would laugh in their face, and then cry.
Why, then, do I feel so much better after showering the Lord with my worship and praise?
It feels like a chore to worship some days. Sometimes I just don’t feel worshipful, perhaps my day or week has been really difficult, or I'm exhausted, or maybe I’m just struggling.
I might put on some music, just to distract myself from my thoughts, and before I know it I feel so much better. I feel free again. I feel whole.
I decided to pay attention to what I was listening to in these times, to check whether it was in the offering myself to the Lord to be used for His glory, or in asking Him to be my Healer; my Provider, or whether it was just losing myself in His grace and goodness that was making me feel renewed.
I know that there have been so many blogs, sermons, and discussions on the difference between praise and worship, so I won’t go into it here, other than to say that it’s so much more than just popping on a worship song and singing and dancing along. I usually only get a child-free minute to study the Word or pray or worship when I’m in the car and the boys are asleep so I can’t do much dancing anyway (My husband would tell you that this is a blessing – I don’t have the rhythm gene)!
So what do I do when I worship?
I’ve never been very good at free worship, I think that’s more to do with self-consciousness and the fact that I grew up in a small Baptist church (UK Baptist, not Southern US!) I’m just not used to it and I find that I need leading into it, so I do rely on worship music, however I am quite selective about the song and style. I look for lyrics which are ALL about the Lord. Not about what He can do for me, or what He has done for me, or what I can do now that I'm alive in Him, or any of those things. Just showering my God with the adoration and worship that He alone deserves and is worthy of.
In case you're wondering, my go-to worship songs are things like, “I Exalt Thee", “Worthy of It All", and, “How Great Thou Art”, amongst others. I find that I am able to move into my own free worship after I have been led into the throne room, as it were.
Like the parable of the widow’s mite, some days I feel I have nothing to give. In fact, most days I know I have nothing to offer but myself, and my meagre sacrifice of worship (and yes, we have ascertained that it most certainly does feel like a sacrifice sometimes). I truly believe that in these times, the Lord sees our heart and our desperation to please Him even in the face of difficulty, and in blessing Him, we are also blessed.
Enter His gates with a song of thanksgiving
And His courts with praise
Be thankful to Him,
bless and praise His name
- Psalm 100:4 (AMP)
Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul, and worship His holy name!
(And allow yourself to be blessed at the same time!)
