On Saturday night I attended "Exalt: No Other Agenda" - a worship evening hosted by a local church. It was great; I've said for a long time that I think I would really enjoy and benefit from a worship-only meeting - and I did! It's important to devote time to simply praising and worshipping our God!
I spoke to a lady who attends my usual church but I haven't spoken to her very much. She hasn't been saved for very long and she has had horrific experiences in the past, not least the suffering she's currently enduring after a number of years attending a Spiritualist "church".
She was telling me that she feels like she's cursed; she has had trouble sleeping. I advised her that there is probably some kind of spiritual warfare going on right now; Satan was so close to winning and he thought he had her in his grasp but then she was washed clean by the Blood of Jesus and escaped his clutches. I told her that God has a plan for her life and that it terrifies Satan so he's trying everything he can think of to stop it from coming to fruition. I told her not to be afraid of Satan but to stand firm on God's Word and promises, because we already know who wins!
I could have talked to that lady for hours as I felt a connection to her; we have some similarities in our history and our testimonies,
As I was going to sleep the next evening, I felt that someone was standing behind me; a shodowy figure almost stooping over me (I'll probably draw a picture and edit this post to add it at a later date). I felt uneasy, to say the least, and my gut (spirit?) was telling me it had something to do with this lady. She was so prominantly in my thoughts in a way I don't think I've experienced before.
I felt a great need to tell her, "There's a spiritual war going on around you. Don't worry about it, just rest in the peace of God and be safe in the knowledge that He and His angels are fighting on your behalf, so you don't have to."
I wanted to tell her to feel the restful slumber that I knew was accessible to her, if only she would let go and allow herself to fall into the peace of God. To lie in His open arms and find the comfort that she so yearned for.
I know it's not a prophetic word or anything, but I've said for a long time that I have a great deal of empathy and a lot of compassion and I can't help but think that this might have been a message from God for me to give her. Unfortunately I won't see her this week as we are out of town at a friend's daughter's christening, so I will have to wait until the next time I see her and hope that it's still relevant.
In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, will keep me safe - Psalm 4:8 (NLT)
For He will order His angels to protect you wherever you go - Psalm 91:11 (NLT)
Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus - Philippians 4:7 (NLT)
Tuesday, 20 May 2014
Sunday, 11 May 2014
Poem - Holy Spirit
Holy Spirit
Holy Spirit
You are my
comforter
You are my friend
I know You.
I feel You
residing within me
A welcome
companion for my soul.
Holy Spirit
I thank You for
coming into my life
For seeing me as a
worthy vessel for You to use
For the glory of
our Living God.
Oh, Spirit, I
yearn for more of You
You have teased me
with a small infilling of Yourself
And now I need
more
Like an addict,
trembling for his next fix,
Holy Spirit, I
need You.
Fill me
Use me
Pour Yourself into
me
A never-ending
well of life and love.
Keep me
overflowing
Never let me be
without You
Never leave me
And I will never
leave You.
Holy Spirit, I ask
You to fill me so that I cannot possibly take any more
Else my soul will
burst
Fill me every day
with love and grace
From on high
And be the
interpreter for me and my Father
I need You.
Holy Spirit
I love You.
Copyright - Lisa Davies, November 8th, 2010.
If you use or distribute this work, please keep it in its
entirety, and link back to this page so that the appropriate credit can be
given. Also, please let me know if you do use any of my work, just as a
courtesy. It's great to have feedback :)
Saturday, 10 May 2014
Barrenness
My new husband and I have just moved into our very first home. It's great, but a little strange. I never realised all there is to do in a house: cleaning; shopping; organising... There's things we had on our "to buy" list which are pretty ordinary but then there were so many things we hadn't even thought of, because they've always "just been there" - our mums just always had them in!
We're still living around and out of suitcases and boxes - we've only been here a couple of weeks and we're slowly but surely getting sorted. One thing we've struggled with is the lack of internet access. We had to wait for our internet to be connected and while we were waiting I didn't touch my laptop at all. Not once. In fact, we even went to my mum's to use her WiFi on my phone!
I guess I figured that without the internet, there's no reason to go on it. Forgetting that I had all our wedding photos from the photographer to sort through and order for family and friends. That's all on there. As is my CV and other job application things I could have been using; all my music, documents and games.
Basically, I refused to use my laptop because it didn't have the internet; the thing I used most often and the main reason I ever powered it up. It didn't matter that it was still a useable product, it still had plenty of other uses and worth, but it didn't have the one thing I wanted at that time.
This got me thinking about my body.
Now, I've never been to the doctor; never been diagnosed; never even had any sign or symptom that something may be wrong. I just have a feeling.
I've steered clear of bringing this up on here for fear of: a) offending people who are genuinely struggling with it; and b) having serious egg on my face if it never becomes an issue and I worried for nothing!
I've been adamant for a number of years now that I will struggle to conceive a child. There are many reasons for this, many of which are too complex for me to go into on such a public forum and with limited time and space. The main reason is that I just feel it. I feel it in my heart; I feel it in my gut.
As I said, there's never been any indication that I am barren or will struggle in any way to have a child. None at all. But just like my laptop, I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to work and I'll have to find another way, just like using mum's WiFi, we have already discussed at length, the possibility of adopting.
I have noticed that there seems to be a large number of couples struggling to conceive within the church. I'm not sure whether there's a correlation or if it's just a coincidence. Perhaps it's true what they say abut a church being a hospital for the needy and desperate. I guess that I accepted that in becoming a Christian, I may have given up my ability to bear a child (silly, I know!)
I even read Bible stories about barrenness: Rachel and Jacob; Rebekah and Isaac; Sarah and Abraham; Elizabeth (eventual mother of John the Baptist). It seemed that the tables were turned in the end and they each received their miracle. This gave me hope that perhaps there was a reason I was going to be barren and eventually it would become my own miracle.
It also made me think about spiritual barrenness. Perhaps my gut feeling isn't that I will be physically barren, in that I won't be able to give my husband a child, but perhaps it could simply be due to the spiritual barrenness I feel within my aching soul. I'm not yet able to interpret God's voice, so maybe this is how it manifests itself in me - by a feeling.
I could be so yearning for a baptism in the Holy Spirit, for a Gift of the Spirit, that I am misinterpreting what I assume is a maternal hunger. I've been maternal all my life. From a very young age, even as a child, I have known that I am meant to be a mother. I truly do believe that's the reason I'm here, and we only have to watch movies to see that the people who are the most desperate for children are the ones who will struggle to have them. I know life isn't like a movie but they must have come up with the ideas somewhere!
Anyway. I do wonder, but there's no point in worrying unnecessarily. We're only just married, we're not going to be thinking about starting a family just yet. In the meantime I will trust that God knows what He is doing and whether I bear my own biological children or we choose to adopt a child, I will be a mother one day and our family will be complete. As for me and my house, we will praise the Lord!
I'm praying over my spiritual gifting, just as I'm praying to know God's plan for my life so that I can start walking in His will. I'm hopeful that the emptiness I feel within myself will right itself when I am in a better place with God. When I was first saved I had a fire bubbling up in my stomach, I was excited and I felt that I was so close to God and His will for me. I feel that I've been seperated somewhat from that place and I need to find a way to get back there. I pray that when I do climb back up to God's throne room, that missing piece will be there waiting for me. Whether it's in the form of a Spiritual Gift or just to rekindle the fire I once had.
I'm leaving you now, excited, rather than dejected!
God promised all those women that they would not be barren forever. I'm holding Him to that covenant for myself!
Keep claiming your promises!
- Lisa xx
We're still living around and out of suitcases and boxes - we've only been here a couple of weeks and we're slowly but surely getting sorted. One thing we've struggled with is the lack of internet access. We had to wait for our internet to be connected and while we were waiting I didn't touch my laptop at all. Not once. In fact, we even went to my mum's to use her WiFi on my phone!
I guess I figured that without the internet, there's no reason to go on it. Forgetting that I had all our wedding photos from the photographer to sort through and order for family and friends. That's all on there. As is my CV and other job application things I could have been using; all my music, documents and games.
Basically, I refused to use my laptop because it didn't have the internet; the thing I used most often and the main reason I ever powered it up. It didn't matter that it was still a useable product, it still had plenty of other uses and worth, but it didn't have the one thing I wanted at that time.
This got me thinking about my body.
Now, I've never been to the doctor; never been diagnosed; never even had any sign or symptom that something may be wrong. I just have a feeling.
I've steered clear of bringing this up on here for fear of: a) offending people who are genuinely struggling with it; and b) having serious egg on my face if it never becomes an issue and I worried for nothing!
I've been adamant for a number of years now that I will struggle to conceive a child. There are many reasons for this, many of which are too complex for me to go into on such a public forum and with limited time and space. The main reason is that I just feel it. I feel it in my heart; I feel it in my gut.
As I said, there's never been any indication that I am barren or will struggle in any way to have a child. None at all. But just like my laptop, I've resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to work and I'll have to find another way, just like using mum's WiFi, we have already discussed at length, the possibility of adopting.
I have noticed that there seems to be a large number of couples struggling to conceive within the church. I'm not sure whether there's a correlation or if it's just a coincidence. Perhaps it's true what they say abut a church being a hospital for the needy and desperate. I guess that I accepted that in becoming a Christian, I may have given up my ability to bear a child (silly, I know!)
I even read Bible stories about barrenness: Rachel and Jacob; Rebekah and Isaac; Sarah and Abraham; Elizabeth (eventual mother of John the Baptist). It seemed that the tables were turned in the end and they each received their miracle. This gave me hope that perhaps there was a reason I was going to be barren and eventually it would become my own miracle.It also made me think about spiritual barrenness. Perhaps my gut feeling isn't that I will be physically barren, in that I won't be able to give my husband a child, but perhaps it could simply be due to the spiritual barrenness I feel within my aching soul. I'm not yet able to interpret God's voice, so maybe this is how it manifests itself in me - by a feeling.
I could be so yearning for a baptism in the Holy Spirit, for a Gift of the Spirit, that I am misinterpreting what I assume is a maternal hunger. I've been maternal all my life. From a very young age, even as a child, I have known that I am meant to be a mother. I truly do believe that's the reason I'm here, and we only have to watch movies to see that the people who are the most desperate for children are the ones who will struggle to have them. I know life isn't like a movie but they must have come up with the ideas somewhere!
Anyway. I do wonder, but there's no point in worrying unnecessarily. We're only just married, we're not going to be thinking about starting a family just yet. In the meantime I will trust that God knows what He is doing and whether I bear my own biological children or we choose to adopt a child, I will be a mother one day and our family will be complete. As for me and my house, we will praise the Lord!
I'm praying over my spiritual gifting, just as I'm praying to know God's plan for my life so that I can start walking in His will. I'm hopeful that the emptiness I feel within myself will right itself when I am in a better place with God. When I was first saved I had a fire bubbling up in my stomach, I was excited and I felt that I was so close to God and His will for me. I feel that I've been seperated somewhat from that place and I need to find a way to get back there. I pray that when I do climb back up to God's throne room, that missing piece will be there waiting for me. Whether it's in the form of a Spiritual Gift or just to rekindle the fire I once had.
I'm leaving you now, excited, rather than dejected!
God promised all those women that they would not be barren forever. I'm holding Him to that covenant for myself!
Keep claiming your promises!
- Lisa xx
Friday, 18 April 2014
The Best Wedding Gift
Sorry guys, this is VERY pic-heavy!
I got married!
I keep asking Riki, "Are we still newlyweds?" - It's been five weeks and I'm worrying that our 'specialness' is wearing off. I still want everyone to think of us as newlyweds. Forever!
We're just about to move into our first home next week so are incredibly busy (and broke), albeit not quite as busy (or broke) as we have been whilst planning the wedding!
Some of the highlights of our day:
My step-sister helping my mum to dress me in the morning - we've had a couple of issues in the past but I'm so glad she was there, it meant so much and just felt right.
My big brother walking me down the aisle (one of my favouite people in all the world)
Giving Grandad a kiss as I walked down the aisle - I love my Grandad, he's one of my absolute favourite people ever. He was always going to walk me down the aisle but at 72 and with Lewy Body and Parkinsons, he wan't able to. I was gutted but this was the next best way to honour him. We've had a special kiss for as long as I can remember. I give him a kiss and then we wipe each others mouths - we're rubbing it in, not wiping it off!
We were married at the Baptist Church I grew up in - It'll always be my home, even though we attend a different church, the Baptist Church will always hold a special place in my heart. It was nice, though, to have my Pastor come up to pray a blessing over us as soon as we were pronounced husband and wife.
We also asked Auntie Joan to come up to serve us communion - I wanted it to be our first act as man and wife. Auntie Joan isn't a blood-auntie, she started the Sunday school for my brother and I when we first started attending the Baptist church, when I was around 2 years old. Riki and I absolutely love her and in Riki's words, "she is the world's best hugger!"
I made pretty much everything myself. I didn't really want flowers so made a button ball (you all know I'm obsessed with buttons!) and smaller ones for my two bridesmaids. I also made button boutonierres for the men. I wore my cowboy boots (Thank you for all your prayers - they fit on the day!) and all in all it was a lovely day. The sun came out like never before - we were worried it might snow as it has snowed in March for the past couple of years - we couldn't have ordered a better day if we'd tried!
The day was everything we wanted and more. I thought I couldn't be happier.
We went to a country music festival in Dublin for the weekend - we left our wedding in the evening to go straight to the airport - flying the next morning - not realising that we had left our festival tickets at home. My mum, bless her, she drove all the way to Manchester Airport first thing to bring them. We're so blessed to have her!
The festival was great but that's not the reason I'll remember that weekend in Dublin. The second day we were there, we were walking down the high street - we were cold and hadn't taken coats so we found a Primark (they're called Penney's in Dublin) and bought jumpers - and I spotted a street evangelist. I love to go and chat to them so I walked over, holding my new husband's hand.
As we were chatting, the man, named Noel Butler, asked Riki if he knew what they were doing. Riki answered, "Yeah, kind of". I told him I was a Christian and we were newlyweds on honeymoon - I didn't want to pressure Riki and thought I'd give him an out. To my astonishment, the man started telling Riki all about Jesus and how He died for our sins. I was silently begging him to talk about God's great love as I think that's the most important part. He finally did, after the fire and brimstone bit (equally as important!) and then he told Riki that one day, he's going to have to deal with eternity and his soul's eternal resting place.
I expected Riki to smile and nod but when he asked if he was ready to accept Jesus as his Lord and Saviour, Riki said yes.
Oh my word! I almost cried! I stood there, holding Riki's hand as he said the Sinner's Prayer, right there in the middle of Dublin city centre. With a random street preacher. I couldn't believe it! I was so desperate for Riki to be saved before we got married and then I pretty much gave up. It's been so difficult but I left it in God's hands and literally two days after I trusted God and married Riki, He sets us this amazing divine appointment and gives me the best wedding gift I could have ever hoped for!
Noel didn't seem to realise how much I was affected by this, and I think I held it together pretty well, although I did text my Mum and a really good friend from church almost straight away! He prayed for our marriage as a "young Christian couple, wanting to walk in God's path" - which made me so happy I almost cried, again!
Now, Riki hasn't seemed to change very much, although he's a pretty stand up guy anyway. I don't think it would have ever been a major "realisiation" moment or epiphany where your life turns around completely. I think for him it would be more of a gift of faith. I think he's still working on a lot of questions and issues, and he hasn't mentioned it since so I haven't either - I don't want to push it. He doesn't seem any more interested in church than he was before, but still. He's made a massive decision. A huge step of faith for him to stand there in the middle of a city and proclaim that he's a sinner and wants Jesus to enter his heart.
I couldn't be happier. Please keep praying for him, and for us as Christian newlyweds!
-Lisa
I got married!
I keep asking Riki, "Are we still newlyweds?" - It's been five weeks and I'm worrying that our 'specialness' is wearing off. I still want everyone to think of us as newlyweds. Forever!
We're just about to move into our first home next week so are incredibly busy (and broke), albeit not quite as busy (or broke) as we have been whilst planning the wedding!
Some of the highlights of our day:
My step-sister helping my mum to dress me in the morning - we've had a couple of issues in the past but I'm so glad she was there, it meant so much and just felt right.
My big brother walking me down the aisle (one of my favouite people in all the world)
Giving Grandad a kiss as I walked down the aisle - I love my Grandad, he's one of my absolute favourite people ever. He was always going to walk me down the aisle but at 72 and with Lewy Body and Parkinsons, he wan't able to. I was gutted but this was the next best way to honour him. We've had a special kiss for as long as I can remember. I give him a kiss and then we wipe each others mouths - we're rubbing it in, not wiping it off!
We were married at the Baptist Church I grew up in - It'll always be my home, even though we attend a different church, the Baptist Church will always hold a special place in my heart. It was nice, though, to have my Pastor come up to pray a blessing over us as soon as we were pronounced husband and wife.We also asked Auntie Joan to come up to serve us communion - I wanted it to be our first act as man and wife. Auntie Joan isn't a blood-auntie, she started the Sunday school for my brother and I when we first started attending the Baptist church, when I was around 2 years old. Riki and I absolutely love her and in Riki's words, "she is the world's best hugger!"I made pretty much everything myself. I didn't really want flowers so made a button ball (you all know I'm obsessed with buttons!) and smaller ones for my two bridesmaids. I also made button boutonierres for the men. I wore my cowboy boots (Thank you for all your prayers - they fit on the day!) and all in all it was a lovely day. The sun came out like never before - we were worried it might snow as it has snowed in March for the past couple of years - we couldn't have ordered a better day if we'd tried!
The day was everything we wanted and more. I thought I couldn't be happier.
We went to a country music festival in Dublin for the weekend - we left our wedding in the evening to go straight to the airport - flying the next morning - not realising that we had left our festival tickets at home. My mum, bless her, she drove all the way to Manchester Airport first thing to bring them. We're so blessed to have her!
The festival was great but that's not the reason I'll remember that weekend in Dublin. The second day we were there, we were walking down the high street - we were cold and hadn't taken coats so we found a Primark (they're called Penney's in Dublin) and bought jumpers - and I spotted a street evangelist. I love to go and chat to them so I walked over, holding my new husband's hand.
As we were chatting, the man, named Noel Butler, asked Riki if he knew what they were doing. Riki answered, "Yeah, kind of". I told him I was a Christian and we were newlyweds on honeymoon - I didn't want to pressure Riki and thought I'd give him an out. To my astonishment, the man started telling Riki all about Jesus and how He died for our sins. I was silently begging him to talk about God's great love as I think that's the most important part. He finally did, after the fire and brimstone bit (equally as important!) and then he told Riki that one day, he's going to have to deal with eternity and his soul's eternal resting place.I expected Riki to smile and nod but when he asked if he was ready to accept Jesus as his Lord and Saviour, Riki said yes.
Oh my word! I almost cried! I stood there, holding Riki's hand as he said the Sinner's Prayer, right there in the middle of Dublin city centre. With a random street preacher. I couldn't believe it! I was so desperate for Riki to be saved before we got married and then I pretty much gave up. It's been so difficult but I left it in God's hands and literally two days after I trusted God and married Riki, He sets us this amazing divine appointment and gives me the best wedding gift I could have ever hoped for!
Noel didn't seem to realise how much I was affected by this, and I think I held it together pretty well, although I did text my Mum and a really good friend from church almost straight away! He prayed for our marriage as a "young Christian couple, wanting to walk in God's path" - which made me so happy I almost cried, again!Now, Riki hasn't seemed to change very much, although he's a pretty stand up guy anyway. I don't think it would have ever been a major "realisiation" moment or epiphany where your life turns around completely. I think for him it would be more of a gift of faith. I think he's still working on a lot of questions and issues, and he hasn't mentioned it since so I haven't either - I don't want to push it. He doesn't seem any more interested in church than he was before, but still. He's made a massive decision. A huge step of faith for him to stand there in the middle of a city and proclaim that he's a sinner and wants Jesus to enter his heart.
I couldn't be happier. Please keep praying for him, and for us as Christian newlyweds!
-Lisa
Thursday, 27 February 2014
Tough Questions
You all know me; I like to question myself. I like to question others. I like to question everything! I'm not a "take it as I find it" kind of girl. I like this about myself, I think it helps me to get to know myself and my feelings better. Riki says that it's a great trait to have and something he loves and respects about me - that I don't just take things at face value; I go out of my way to figure out how I feel about it myself.
He says I'm the best kind of Christian (his words, not mine!) because I'm not dictated to by a religion. I'm not lost in rules and regulations. I don't believe something simply because someone tells me to. I question everything, I examine my heart and then I make a decision. Sometimes I have to be honest and say, "I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet", or, "I haven't really given that enough thought to have an opinion". I'm very open minded and I try to understand other peoples' opinions and thoughts, even if they don't match up to my own. I'm genuinely interested in other points of view and I'm strong enough in my faith to be able to question my own beliefs.
The reason I'm thinking about this tonight is that I was telling Riki about how when Jesus walked the earth, all I would have to do is touch the hem of His garment and I would be healed (Mark 5:27-29). In fact, there were some who didn't even need to touch Him; their faith alone allowed them to be healed! How amazing would that have been?
I then said that I wish I would have been around when Jesus was. I feel like I miss Him, even though I've never met Him. How can you miss something you've never really had? I understand that He was resurrected. I understand about the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit that was in Jesus, being all around us but it's not the same thing. It's not what I meant. I meant that I wish I could have met the physical man of Jesus. But don't we all?
After discussing this for a minute or two, I opened up to Riki about a fear I have regularly...
If I were around when Jesus was, how can I be sure that I would have accepted Him? How can I know that I would have followed Him? How on earth can I say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wouldn't have been one of the crowd, crying out for his crucifixion?
I know that a lot of you will read this and think, "Well, why does it matter? She wasn't there anyway so why waste time thinking about it?!" - But to me it isn't a waste of time. I struggle with this thought and the only way I know to combat something like this is to explore it. So it matters to me!
I know that if someone came along now, claiming to be the Saviour; the Messiah, I'd have something to say about it. I'd call him a blasphemer and I would certainly not be clambering over myself to get a touch of his hem.
But what's the difference? Some of those crowds were devout Jews, who knew, loved, and feared God. They weren't about to let some carpenter from Nazareth come and claim all God's glory. How is that any different from how I feel - I know my Jesus and I love and revere Him. I know that He is my Saviour; the one and only Son of God. I know it's not going to happen but how could I trust anyone else if they claim to be another Messiah?
I hope and pray that my faith, strong as it is now, would have been enough to see me through the trials of Jesus' time. I pray that if I had been there, I'd be amongst the tiny, lonely voices, crying out for Jesus. Although, knowing that He had to die in order to fulfil the Scriptures, I probably wouldn't want to stop them from killing Him - but that's a whole other question for another day!
It's worth thinking about anyway. Is your faith strong enough to question yourself and your beliefs? Do you think you would have been brave enough to go against the norm and follow Jesus? It was a much more difficult journey than we could ever understand! We've got it so easy these days - we might be called names and ridiculed, our colleagues may scoff at our beliefs and challenge them, we might even lose a few friends along the way but would you have risked your life for it?
Food for thought.
Until next time (I won't leave it so long, I promise!)
- Lisa
Brain Wash image from here and adapted by me
Touching the Hem image from here - really enjoyed the post too, go read it!
Crucify Him image from here
He says I'm the best kind of Christian (his words, not mine!) because I'm not dictated to by a religion. I'm not lost in rules and regulations. I don't believe something simply because someone tells me to. I question everything, I examine my heart and then I make a decision. Sometimes I have to be honest and say, "I'm not sure how I feel about that just yet", or, "I haven't really given that enough thought to have an opinion". I'm very open minded and I try to understand other peoples' opinions and thoughts, even if they don't match up to my own. I'm genuinely interested in other points of view and I'm strong enough in my faith to be able to question my own beliefs.The reason I'm thinking about this tonight is that I was telling Riki about how when Jesus walked the earth, all I would have to do is touch the hem of His garment and I would be healed (Mark 5:27-29). In fact, there were some who didn't even need to touch Him; their faith alone allowed them to be healed! How amazing would that have been?
I then said that I wish I would have been around when Jesus was. I feel like I miss Him, even though I've never met Him. How can you miss something you've never really had? I understand that He was resurrected. I understand about the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit that was in Jesus, being all around us but it's not the same thing. It's not what I meant. I meant that I wish I could have met the physical man of Jesus. But don't we all?
If I were around when Jesus was, how can I be sure that I would have accepted Him? How can I know that I would have followed Him? How on earth can I say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wouldn't have been one of the crowd, crying out for his crucifixion?
I know that a lot of you will read this and think, "Well, why does it matter? She wasn't there anyway so why waste time thinking about it?!" - But to me it isn't a waste of time. I struggle with this thought and the only way I know to combat something like this is to explore it. So it matters to me!
I know that if someone came along now, claiming to be the Saviour; the Messiah, I'd have something to say about it. I'd call him a blasphemer and I would certainly not be clambering over myself to get a touch of his hem.
I hope and pray that my faith, strong as it is now, would have been enough to see me through the trials of Jesus' time. I pray that if I had been there, I'd be amongst the tiny, lonely voices, crying out for Jesus. Although, knowing that He had to die in order to fulfil the Scriptures, I probably wouldn't want to stop them from killing Him - but that's a whole other question for another day!
It's worth thinking about anyway. Is your faith strong enough to question yourself and your beliefs? Do you think you would have been brave enough to go against the norm and follow Jesus? It was a much more difficult journey than we could ever understand! We've got it so easy these days - we might be called names and ridiculed, our colleagues may scoff at our beliefs and challenge them, we might even lose a few friends along the way but would you have risked your life for it?
Food for thought.
Until next time (I won't leave it so long, I promise!)
- Lisa
Brain Wash image from here and adapted by me
Touching the Hem image from here - really enjoyed the post too, go read it!
Crucify Him image from here
Sunday, 5 January 2014
Saying So Long
This morning I went to church for the first time in around eight weeks. (I haven't been able to drive after surgery on my foot). What a great morning to return. The first meeting of the new year and the worship was great (albeit missing a drummer - you all know how much I love the drums). Pastor's message was just right; just what I needed anyway - he was talking about God's plan and having a vision for our lives. How we should keep going after it and striving for it.
Cut to the end of the meeting and Pastor had some news to share. His brother, a member of our Pastoral team, was leaving. He and his family are trusting in God and are preparing to go wherever He leads them. They have no idea where this may be but are living in total faith.
Obviously it's difficult when someone important moves on to pastures new, but I wasn't expecting to be as devastated as I was. I'm still not sure why it affected me so much. I love the whole family dearly and they are such an integral part of our church. I always say that my church is unique because there's genuine love there. A lot of churches have a loving and compassionate congregation but as I've said before, as soon as I walk in the door I feel and sense the love we have for one another. It's really beautiful - as cliche as it sounds, I truly feel like part of a family.
I think it's so important to have people in life, whether they're family, friends, colleagues, or fellow believers, who we can chat to, ask questions, and generally turn to in times of need. In my life I have a few people I can rely on but when it comes to matters of faith, I find myself turning to this family. I have a lot of questions and I've learned so much from each member of the five-strong family, at some time or another. Their teaching and messages have been some of the ones I'll remember for the rest of my life - it's not everyday that you respond so deeply to someone's words.
This made me think, though. How can we respond so differently to a word preached by one person, and the exact same word preached by someone else? How can we "prefer" one preacher over another? Aren't the messages coming from the same place?
I guess the way I look at it is this. In life we are naturally inclined to "click" with certain people more than others. Just think about your own life; I'll bet there's someone who, try as you might, you just can't seem to get on with. Now I'm not saying that I don't "like" other pastors or preachers; just that I respond more to some than others.
Another thing is the style of preaching. The way that the message is written and delivered is important and I personally enjoy a teaching style, where I can make notes to refer back to later. I like it to have a structure that makes sense and I like to have an idea of what's coming.
It's not every day, every week or even every year that a message is delivered in such a way that it stirs my soul and resonates so deeply that I know, even at the very moment of hearing it, that I will remember it for the rest of my life. In fact I can probably count on one hand the people who have the ability to provoke such a strong response from me. It's a gift and I would imagine that there are lots more people out there with this gift, but they aren't aware. They think that because they're not ministers or pastors, that they can't possibly get up and share a message they've prepared, even if that message has come directly from God, through His Holy Spirit. That's a huge shame. Imagine what the world could be if we all took a small step of faith.
My church is a powerful place. It's the place where the Spirit of God resides and is so tangible that sometimes, it can take your breath away. It can reduce us to tears; have us rolling around the floor in laughter; can shock us with prophetic words and signs and wonders. I have even been in a meeting, one Sunday night, where the evangelist didn't even share his message. The atmosphere so heavy with with the Spirit of God that we were all silent. Nobody dared to, or wanted to, speak. Nobody wanted to leave either! Eventually we all got into a huge laughing fit and it was as if we were watching a stand-up comedian - but the only one moving was the Spirit!
I love my church but I understand that this isn't a place for everyone to stay forever. We have to make space for others to experience it, and at the same time, allow the next generation of leaders, evangelists, prophets and ministers to step out in faith, showing the world how they have grown in their knowledge and faith. Allowing them to complete the work that had been intended for them all along.
I'm beginning to think of it as a training establishment, and sometimes we have to be grateful for the short time that we have access to such amazing men and women of God, but then we have to allow them to move on and bless others. We have to shower them with prayer and blessings and pray that they continue in the path God has ordained for them. We have to loosen our grip on them and, in my case, our reliance. After all, it's not man or woman who has the answers; it's God! I just have to (literally) cut out the middle man now, and figure out how to hear from God by myself!
So yes, I'm saddened. In fact I feel like my heart could break, but I understand that it's part of God's plan and so I am happy for the family that we are losing today. Our loss is the Kingdom's gain and I hope that someday I might be on the other side, saying goodbye to my safe, comfortable life and stepping out in faith to follow God's plan for me... whatever that might be!
Cut to the end of the meeting and Pastor had some news to share. His brother, a member of our Pastoral team, was leaving. He and his family are trusting in God and are preparing to go wherever He leads them. They have no idea where this may be but are living in total faith.
Obviously it's difficult when someone important moves on to pastures new, but I wasn't expecting to be as devastated as I was. I'm still not sure why it affected me so much. I love the whole family dearly and they are such an integral part of our church. I always say that my church is unique because there's genuine love there. A lot of churches have a loving and compassionate congregation but as I've said before, as soon as I walk in the door I feel and sense the love we have for one another. It's really beautiful - as cliche as it sounds, I truly feel like part of a family.
I think it's so important to have people in life, whether they're family, friends, colleagues, or fellow believers, who we can chat to, ask questions, and generally turn to in times of need. In my life I have a few people I can rely on but when it comes to matters of faith, I find myself turning to this family. I have a lot of questions and I've learned so much from each member of the five-strong family, at some time or another. Their teaching and messages have been some of the ones I'll remember for the rest of my life - it's not everyday that you respond so deeply to someone's words.
This made me think, though. How can we respond so differently to a word preached by one person, and the exact same word preached by someone else? How can we "prefer" one preacher over another? Aren't the messages coming from the same place?
I guess the way I look at it is this. In life we are naturally inclined to "click" with certain people more than others. Just think about your own life; I'll bet there's someone who, try as you might, you just can't seem to get on with. Now I'm not saying that I don't "like" other pastors or preachers; just that I respond more to some than others.
Another thing is the style of preaching. The way that the message is written and delivered is important and I personally enjoy a teaching style, where I can make notes to refer back to later. I like it to have a structure that makes sense and I like to have an idea of what's coming.
It's not every day, every week or even every year that a message is delivered in such a way that it stirs my soul and resonates so deeply that I know, even at the very moment of hearing it, that I will remember it for the rest of my life. In fact I can probably count on one hand the people who have the ability to provoke such a strong response from me. It's a gift and I would imagine that there are lots more people out there with this gift, but they aren't aware. They think that because they're not ministers or pastors, that they can't possibly get up and share a message they've prepared, even if that message has come directly from God, through His Holy Spirit. That's a huge shame. Imagine what the world could be if we all took a small step of faith.
My church is a powerful place. It's the place where the Spirit of God resides and is so tangible that sometimes, it can take your breath away. It can reduce us to tears; have us rolling around the floor in laughter; can shock us with prophetic words and signs and wonders. I have even been in a meeting, one Sunday night, where the evangelist didn't even share his message. The atmosphere so heavy with with the Spirit of God that we were all silent. Nobody dared to, or wanted to, speak. Nobody wanted to leave either! Eventually we all got into a huge laughing fit and it was as if we were watching a stand-up comedian - but the only one moving was the Spirit!
I love my church but I understand that this isn't a place for everyone to stay forever. We have to make space for others to experience it, and at the same time, allow the next generation of leaders, evangelists, prophets and ministers to step out in faith, showing the world how they have grown in their knowledge and faith. Allowing them to complete the work that had been intended for them all along.
I'm beginning to think of it as a training establishment, and sometimes we have to be grateful for the short time that we have access to such amazing men and women of God, but then we have to allow them to move on and bless others. We have to shower them with prayer and blessings and pray that they continue in the path God has ordained for them. We have to loosen our grip on them and, in my case, our reliance. After all, it's not man or woman who has the answers; it's God! I just have to (literally) cut out the middle man now, and figure out how to hear from God by myself!
So yes, I'm saddened. In fact I feel like my heart could break, but I understand that it's part of God's plan and so I am happy for the family that we are losing today. Our loss is the Kingdom's gain and I hope that someday I might be on the other side, saying goodbye to my safe, comfortable life and stepping out in faith to follow God's plan for me... whatever that might be!
Thursday, 19 December 2013
Why No Posts?
OK, let me be honest with you all now.
I've been away for a while and while it's true that I've been busy wedding planning (it's less than three months away y'know!) and I've had surgery on my foot (it's almost healed now) the real reason I've been avoiding, yes actually avoiding, my blog is twofold:
At a prayer meeting at church we were discussing testimonies and I complained, again, that I don't have a testimony. My friend challenged me and told me that she wants to read all about my testimony on my blog... I've struggled to write it but I didn't want to let her down so I also didn't post anything else.
Secondly, and this is quite embarrassing as you're going to be acquainted with a really annoying part of myself... The last time I was on here I tried to make some changes to the font style and such. It wasn't working and I got so frustrated I almost burst into tears and slammed the laptop closed, never to blog again!
That's me! I'm easily flustered and I just don't know what to do so I just throw a mini tantrum like a three year old... Have you ever played with on of those wire loop things where you have to get the metal key to the other side without it touching? I think that's where it started - it made me feel physically sick and I was so frustrated I just wanted to throw it against a wall! Maybe I have rage issues, haha!
So I'm working on it...
- Lisa
I've been away for a while and while it's true that I've been busy wedding planning (it's less than three months away y'know!) and I've had surgery on my foot (it's almost healed now) the real reason I've been avoiding, yes actually avoiding, my blog is twofold:
At a prayer meeting at church we were discussing testimonies and I complained, again, that I don't have a testimony. My friend challenged me and told me that she wants to read all about my testimony on my blog... I've struggled to write it but I didn't want to let her down so I also didn't post anything else.
Secondly, and this is quite embarrassing as you're going to be acquainted with a really annoying part of myself... The last time I was on here I tried to make some changes to the font style and such. It wasn't working and I got so frustrated I almost burst into tears and slammed the laptop closed, never to blog again!
That's me! I'm easily flustered and I just don't know what to do so I just throw a mini tantrum like a three year old... Have you ever played with on of those wire loop things where you have to get the metal key to the other side without it touching? I think that's where it started - it made me feel physically sick and I was so frustrated I just wanted to throw it against a wall! Maybe I have rage issues, haha!
So I'm working on it...
- Lisa
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