Marriage and the Church

I'm aware that this is potentially a very taboo topic but I make no apologies. I've wanted to post this for some time now but have been looking for the 'right time'. I suddenly thought to myself, "Who needs a right time? If it's on my mind, let's just have out with it!"

So today I want to discuss marriage. In particular, marriage in the Church.

Now I'm not going to go into all the usual debates, there'll be time for that another day and what I have to say is somewhat more pressing.

Let's play the "Who Here" game! If you haven't heard of it, I say, "who here thinks....." and you raise your hands (but for the sake of the blog and your friends' views on your sanity, maybe just raise a smile or a nod).

From Style Me Pretty

Who here thinks marriage in church is a big deal? 

(I guess a lot of you put up your metaphorical hands - I did)

Who here thinks that a couple should be married before having sex?  

(I guess a lot of you still have those imaginary hands up)

Who here has noticed that people tend to get married at a very young age in church?  

(You've clicked on. Probably losing some now) 

Who here thinks that we've lost respect and reverence for marriage, using it as a way to have sex as soon as we can, or even worse, an excuse for a big party? 

(I'm probably rubbing a lot of you up the wrong way now, aren't I?)

Well this is my issue. Forgive me if it's not yours or if you think I'm way out of line here. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, isn't it!

In the Church as a whole, I believe that many Christians rush into marriage. Sometimes a couple have been together a month, the pressure or the lust gets too much so they have a wedding just a couple of months down the line. How many of those weddings produce a true, meaningful marriage? I have to be honest with you, I personally know more divorced or separated Christians than married (or happily married) ones.

That not only shocks me, it breaks my heart.

I believe in marriage. I believe in forever. It's a binding covenant and although I'm not going to go into the issue of divorce today, I personally don't believe in it. There's just no need if you know your future spouse before signing that contract. That's essentially what it is, isn't it? You can't just cancel a binding, legal contract but it's so easy to divorce these days, in this generation of disposable everythings.

Some of you may know that I am a big believer in love. I probably have some Disney-fied, rose-coloured view of it but I can't help that I've been so overwhelmingly loved in my life. I can honestly say that there has been no time in my life where I didn't feel loved, by God, my parents, grandparents, brother, partner, spiritual aunts and friends, even my dogs! I am blessed because I am loved beyond measure. When was the last time you actually sat and thought about how loved you are?

Let's move on a little, before I cry!

When did marriage become so structured, organised and legal? Back in the day, if you wanted to marry a woman, you went to speak with her dad, gave him a sheep or a ram and then you were married. Bob's your uncle (or uncle-in-law, if your new wife has an uncle Bob!)

Nowadays it's thousands of pounds, a massive party, drunken relatives and a little piece of paper. It saddens me that we seem to have lost the true meaning of marriage. I'm not married yet, legally, but in truth I committed myself to Riki, before God, years ago. I thank the Lord for him daily and even though I know that He is working in Riki's life, I also know that there is much discussion behind my back about my being "unequally yoked". Believe me, that's a MAJOR issue with me. I'm actually going to make an entire post on it, maybe the next one.

From OneWed

So when did it become less about God and more about sex, money and parties? I guess around the same time that our world started to fall apart (that is when we, as a planet, turned our back on the Lord and became selfish). Don't even get me started on those who have no desire to enter a church in their entire lives, and no intention to ever return to one again, but want to get married at a church.

You only have to look on Pinterest or the hundreds of wedding-related forums, websites and blogs out there to realise that it's been taken too far. I'm not going to lie, I've got more than a handful of boards on my own Pinterest related to planning my wedding, and I'm a member of some of those forums, discussing wedding-related topics and sharing tips and advice with other brides-to-be. I'm not denying that these are great tools to have but it's the frame of mind behind them that's the big deal. Are you getting married because you want to show the world, and God, that you're committing yourself to this person for the rest of your life, or is it because you want to throw the best wedding amongst your friends/family, or you want to have sex without the church elders shaking their heads?

It baffles me. It really does.

Anyway, thanks for playing the "Who Here" game with me if you did join in, as adults we don't get to play many games; it made me smile!


-Lisa